Final thoughts on 2013

As the year is coming to close, I feel that it is only right to reflect on all of the awesomeness that was 2013. But I'd also like to remind y'all that self-reflection shouldn't JUST happen on New Year's Eve, it's something you should do often! A lot has happened this year and I thought I'd give you some highlights.

• I turned 22 and celebrated accordingly by blasting Taylor Swift's 22 for a majority of the day
• Graduated from Eastern Washington University 
• Moved away from my hometown for my first big kid job - but don't worry I have a village here that's helping me navigate this big large world
• Became an alumna of Gamma Phi Beta and got involved with my local alumnae chapter
• Learned how to drive a manual after tons of crying and stalling out... everywhere
• Ate my first banana - yes that's a thing and I still think they are weird
• Said goodbye to the good old Blackberry and went to the iPhone (I still miss my blackberry dearly though)
• Entered into relationships with amazing people that I am sure will always be in my life; people who will always be my support system and hold the mirror up for me when I need it
• I learned to let go of control - well I am actively learning and practicing
• I started to figure out that it was okay to have feelings and that those "feelings" are actually really important
• And so much more than I could ever list

When I look back, I want to cry, because 2013 brought about so much change in me and my heart and I am so happy to be where I am now. So much has changed about me and I am happy about it. 2013, you were oh so good to me, even when I thought you weren't being good to me, you were. 

As a final note to 2013, I just want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who was and has been a part of my journey. Thank you so much for entering my life and challenging me and helping me become a better person. Even if you don't think you matter in my journey, I promise you, you do. I am so grateful for those who have come in and out of my life in this year. I am so grateful for the people who always showed up for me and chose to stay, even when I was difficult. There is so much love and joy in my heart for each and every one of you.

Here's to a 2014 with more growth, love, and self-reflection. Here's to you and me becoming the best versions of ourselves, constantly.

With a spirit of gratitude, life freaking rocks

Yo my blog-reading peeps, I just need to let you know that my cheeks literally hurt from smiling so much today because I had such an insanely awesome day!

Why was it insanely awesome you may ask? It's not because I got a whole bunch of cool things or did a whole bunch of stuff. Really, if you look at it from the outside, it would look like a pretty mediocre day. Got my drink, went to work, returned some clothes. Not something that usually rocks someone's world, right? But today, today it was amazing.

Here's why.

Today was my first day back in a week. I got to see my work pals who make me oh so happy. I beat my friend in ping pong for like the second time in my life. I caught up and learned about everyones joyous holidays. And I worked. Like cool, right? Still doesn't sound amazing really though. But just think, non-stop smiling and joy and happiness because the people I work with are absolutely amazing and I love the relationships that I have built in my time at vivint. It may not seem like a super awesome day to you, and that's understandable - you've never met these people and you haven't had the opportunity to experience just how great they are.

Enough bragging about how awesome my coworkers are though, there's another part to this awesomely amazing day. I made the decision that it was going to be awesome and that I was going to be awesome as well. I chose. I left last week feeling meh. Meh about my job, meh about my work, just meh. I wasn't myself and I allowed myself to be negative about anything that went awry. Last night, I decided to put my best foot forward, give others grace, and love life. And guess what, I did?

I loved every second of today because I was myself and when I am the best version of myself, people respond in a way that inspires me to be even better. I loved every second of the day because I chose to live with a spirit of gratitude and be thankful for the people and the things and the experiences that I had today. I loved every second of the day because I decided not to get hung up on little things, but rather find solutions to the things that were bothering me. To speak constructively to help others and myself.

Today, I woke up and was grateful to be me. Because I am the only person who can be me and I am the only person who can do what I was put here to do. I was happy to be me, I was authentically me, all day. And I am grateful. Grateful that I was able to me and grateful to be surrounded by people who accept me.

Today rocks because I chose to live with a spirit of gratitude and be unapologetically and authentically me. You should really try it sometime, because I want your day to rock too!

Storytellers

We are all storytellers. Actually, let me revise that: we should all be storytellers.

I'm not talking about tales of fiction with fairies and princesses and happily ever after. I'm not just talking about the stories that make us feel good to tell, the stories that make us proud of ourselves. It's easy to tell those stories, it's easy to tell stories that show us in the best light, stories that makes us feel good inside. But you know what? Those aren't always the stories that NEED to be told.

Everyone needs to hear those painful stories; stories of heartbreak, failure, regret, and isolation. Not because we are some sick and twisted individuals, not because we are pessimistic, but because we need to know that despite how these things make us feel, we are not alone.

It's those stories that are hard to tell, the ones that get stuck in your throat, that need to be heard. It's those stories that let others know they aren't the only ones and there are people like them who have experienced something similar. We al have stories that only we can tell, and while our stories may all be different, the struggle is something that we all know too well. And just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean that it's not there, eating away at us.

You know what happens when you tell your painful story, when you share your experience? People listen. Whether they identify with you, help you work through it, gain knowledge, or are inspired to share their story as well, your story has impacted them at some level. But that's not the end, there's even more magic in store for you; each time you fight your tears and battle past that lump in your throat, that painful experience loosens its grip on you and you grow too.

We've all got stories to tell, it's just a matter of finding the courage to speak them into existence.

What are you waiting for?

The other day, I had such a meaningful, deep, caring, and honest conversation with one of my good friends who I don't see nearly as much as I'd like to. There were so many takeaways, but there was one that I had to share with y'all. I'm sure I'll share more little nuggets of wisdom later, but there was one message that was pressing that I needed to share:

Attack life.

Seriously, I'm talking full on assault. Too often we wait for life to happen. We wait for opportunities to show up neatly wrapped up at our door; we wait for some sort of superhero or "sign" to present itself and launch us into our lives, who we'll end up with, and who we are supposed to be. And the real question here is this: Why wait?

What are you waiting for? Attack life and show it that you mean business and you are here to fulfill your purpose, whether that is being a baker, the president, a candlestick maker, or actor. Our time here is limited and even more, the time we have left is unknown, so why are we waiting for life to make itself awesome, when we have the opportunity to make life awesome for not only ourselves, but others as well?

Sometimes there is no magic happening around us, sometimes it seems like there are no opportunities, and that's okay. The cool thing is that we can make our own magic and create our own opportunities for growth. If we dig deep enough, we'll see that we can be the creators of our own magic and our own happiness instead of waiting for someone to hand it to us.

The great thing about being human is that we're allowed to mess up and change our minds and grow from that. We're allowed to leave if we need to, we're allowed to go out and be adventurers and explore this world to figure out what we want and what we're truly passionate about.

So what are you waiting for? Go out and attack life. Life is too short, and your time is now.

Don't be a Grinch

You know what I think? We should all just be decent human beings to one another. No, not just decent, but ridiculously inspiring and amazingly kind human beings. Wouldn't that be awesome?

But let's be real, some people are going to be absolutely rotten to you. You might leave a conversation feeling like you've talked to Cruella DeVil on her way to make furs out of Dalmatians or the Grinch on his way to steal Christmas.

Here's the catch - you don't have to reciprocrate their rotten-ness. I mean, it would be easy to just be rotten right back, treat them the way they treated you. But you my friend, you have a choice, a conscious choice, on how YOU will act.

You can't control Cruella or the Grinch, you have no control over how they treat you, but you do have control over how you treat them. Choose to be at the VERY LEAST decent to them. Choose not to be rotten, because when was the last time that two rotten people made anyone happier? Choose to show them love, because honestly, I'm sure Cruella expects people to be rotten to her, and heck, so does the Grinch, they're used to it. But what they're not used to, is people being kind even when they aren't.

So be a kind, amazing, inspiring human being, regardless of others actions. Don't let rotten people dictate how you are going to live your life, because it's YOUR choice on how you treat people and how you live. And I'll agree, it's REALLY hard to always be happy and kind and amazing, and all those other good adjectives, but at the VERY least, chose to be nothing less than a decent person.

Make the conscious choice to be a good person, because the world could always use more good people.

YSK: Phired Up

My YSK (you should know) series is a pretty simple concept - they are things, organizations, causes, people, movies, opportunities, and much more that I think that you should know about!

Today, I will share with you my love for Phired Up Productions, a company that is amazing for helping achieve organizational growth and social excellence. If you have been following me for a while, I talked about them long, long, ago (so in reality maybe a year) in my post Sorority Recruitment. And even though I am no longer a collegiate member of my sorority, I still truly believe in the work that they do.

While I haven't had the pleasure of meeting every single person with Phired Up, I can tell you this: every person that I have met has been genuine, authentic, and awe inspiring. They travel. They travel a lot. But even amidst all of that traveling and all of those people, they continue to live in the moment, be intentional and engaged, and truly invest in YOU.

The passion they have for the fraternity/sorority community is unrivaled. They KNOW that as Greek organizations, we can change the world. They have a way of igniting a flame in the people they meet, and it is this flame that will set the world on Phire with crazy passionate people - people who are ready to get together, make waves, and make our world a better place. They motivate and inspire people to be the best version of themselves and share themselves, uninhibited, with world - and if that doesn't make for a better world, I don't know what does!

I can confidently say, without a doubt in my mind, that every encounter with someone from their organization has made me a better person. Seriously. Words are not enough to describe how amazingly powerful, innovative, and caring these people are, and for that I will always be grateful.

Want to learn more about being socially excellent and Phired Up? Just check out their website, creep on their twitters, and fall madly in love. Trust me, it's bound to happen.

You should know them, you really should!

Build me up, before you go go

The other day, I was talking to one of my friends who recently went through a break up, and he said to me "it's hard, but it's okay though, I come here and I feel a lot better." Any guesses on where we were? We weren't at a gym or at the park, we weren't at a restaurant or getting dessert, we weren't at an amusement park or a movie either. 

We were at work, yeah, that's right, work.

Crazy right? For most people, the idea that someone actually goes to work and their mood is improved, sounds like a myth, but at Vivint, it's something that happens daily. This conversation really got me thinking about how incredibly blessed I am to work at Vivint, a company that is filled with insanely positive, hilarious, caring, and upbeat people. I work in an office where we genuinely care about each other and you might get told that you're "off the proverbial chain." I work at a place where people stay late so they can beat up on each other in ping pong. Vivint's a place where we don't just punch in and out of and leave, it's a community, it's a family. We work together, we invest in each other, and we build each other up - not just to be better at our jobs, but better versions of ourselves.

And it's all of this, and so much more, that makes me love my job and the people I work with. My work environment is simply put, uplifting.

When I think about it, it's a truly amazing and rare culture we have at Vivint, but it shouldn't be (rare, that is). We each have the ability to invest in one another, we have the ability to uplift others with each little interaction we have. So what are you waiting for? Tell someone you appreciate them for what they do, because while it's thought a lot, it's not spoken aloud nearly as much as it should be. Let those around you know that they are valued and awesome and wonderful. You are a part of building the culture and the environment you work and live in, so why not make it a positive one?

Swallow it

Alright, so let's all take a few seconds (or more) to laugh at the title because it's a little bit funny and we're all just a little bit immature. I'm sure that some parts might get a little bit dodgy with the whole swallowing reference, but don't be fooled, this isn't meant to be a funny post, it's about emotions and vulnerability and just the mention of those two words probably made you want to close out of this window, run away, and never look back, but please, just stay a while!

For those of you who know me, you probably haven't seen me cry - not because I don't cry or because I don't have emotions, because trust me I do and I definitely do.

Whenever I feel like crying in any situation, whether it be in happiness, joy, sorrow, or pain, I don't do it. I can feel it coming, but I choose to fight it, I refuse to cry. When I start to feel those tears well up in my eyes and that lump start to form in my throat, I don't let it out, I swallow it. I swallow it and pretend like that weird moment before I was about to cry, didn't just happen.

And I know that I'm not the only one who does it, even though it's not talked about, I am positive I'm not the only one. We get this notion in our heads that tears are a sign of weakness and I think that I am finally realizing that's not true (no, not in the cliche "tears aren't weakness, from the beginning of time it's a sign that you're alive" quote way - but we'll get to that later).

When I think back to the times where I chose to swallow the lump and fight back the tears there is one common thread. It wasn't that I was sad or frustrated or embarrassed or any other emotion on the spectrum. Each and every time I decided to swallow that lump, it was because something deeply affected me at the core; whether that was me relating too closely to someone's story or feeling deep love for a friend/family member or being passionate in my purpose, whatever was being talked about was something that really hit home for me. The tears don't necessarily come from the same emotions, rather, they come from places that are truly important to me and my life. Tears aren't necessarily a sign that you're alive, rather they are an indicator of what you're living for.

I've begun to see crying in a new light; I don't see it so much as weakness anymore, but a sign of a importance and if you let it, an indicator of a powerful moment or conversation just waiting to happen.

Imagine if in that conversation where I was feeling uncomfortable because I, too, felt like I didn't belong in the group at times - what an immensely powerful conversation could and would follow. Imagine what a powerful dialogue would follow if you just had the courage to tell your story and let the other person know that they are not alone. If you didn't swallow that lump, if you didn't fight those tears, how impactful would that conversation be, not just for the other person, but for you as well? If you didn't dismiss that feeling in your stomach or the lump in your throat, where would that conversation lead you? I'm not a big fan of what if's and this isn't about regret, it's about seeing missed opportunities and moving towards change.

Tears are tied deeply to who and what we value, and  in letting people see our values, we let them see who we truly are and that can be a scary thing. Being vulnerable can be uncomfortable, it can be terrifying, but it can also be freeing and exhilarating. Vulnerability is often confused with weakness, so saying that vulnerability is the key (to life really) might be a little hard to wrap your head around, but I have learned (and I am still learning) that vulnerability opens doors that secrets and fear keep locked, chained, and deadbolted.

Being vulnerable. It's a hard thing to do, it's something I try to practice daily, but I too, slip up. I still swallow that lump, I still hold back the tears, but eventually, I let them out. Maybe not in front of people, maybe I don't say the things I need to in the moment, but when I finally let go and release them, I can see what truly matters to me. Being more vulnerable is a rewarding, yet difficult practice; it is a change in your life that will be beyond worth it.

That lump. It's our initial reaction to swallow it, but I challenge you to fight that first reaction and dig deeper, push further, and allow it to come out. If you let it out, you'd be surprised at how much is in that weird achy lump in your throat. So much power, so much of you, is in there, if you would just let it out.

You don't have to go spill your soul to every person that you come in contact with, you don't have to go around crying all the time, but I am asking that you just try to have the courage to tell your story when that lump in your throat comes up.

Life unscripted

I've been cautious my entire life. I've been a planner. I've known what I wanted and had a plan on how to get it. Always. I didn't want to ever get distracted - if it wasn't in the plan, I'd pass on it.

Did I get what I wanted? Yes. But at the same time, by sticking to this path I created in my head, maybe I missed out on a lot of things too. Not that I regret my decisions at all, because I don't, they led me to who I am now.

After meeting people, loving more openly, and being more vulnerable, I started to change, and for the better. I started to see that I had been cautions all my life, and it was about time I started living. It was time that I started taking that leap and not fearing the fall.

Life is golden. It's joy and pain, both of which can teach me so much more about myself, others, and the world.I find just as much, if not more, happiness from the unplanned spontaneous random encounters in my life as completing my plans and accomplishing my goals. Goals are important and with goals you know the desired outcome, but sometimes, things just take you surprise and change your life for the better. Unplanned and raw emotions make you feel alive in ways that no plan ever could, and that's a part of life that I used to neglect, but now it's a part of life that I won't ever forget again.

Life unscripted isn't half bad. Own every second of your life and live it to the fullest. Embrace the good, the bad, the planned, and the unscripted. We've got this one life, so let's live it and make it beautiful .

All you need is one

Never underestimate the power of one - because a lot of the time, all you need is one. I thought I blogged about this before, but apparently I didn't (AWKWARD), so here it goes.

A lot of the time, we think we're small (and when you think about it in the sense of the universe, we kind of are). While we may be small, we have so much potential, both for ourselves and for others. There is a lot of power in each and every one of us. I have been lucky enough to have so many people who believed in me, pushed me to be a better version of myself, and were there to help me along the way when I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes you just need one person to think you are the bees knees; just one person to ignite the flame within. Sometimes, you just need one person to push you, change the game, flip the script, whatever you want to call it. One person, at the right time, in the right place, can help you realize your potential and inspire you to move forward, follow your dreams, grow, and become better than you were before.

While all you may need is one, that's just for a time; over the years you'll start to realize that you've been lucky enough to encounter multiple people who were game-changers for you. The best thing you can do is let them know how much they mean to you and how much their support has meant (because I think these people are often overlooked)

We need to realize that WE can be people of impact; that our actions and words can be the thing that helps motivate someone to believe in themselves or move towards change. With every conversation, every smile, every action, we all have the ability to be game-changers.

The ideal doesn't exisit

To be honest, I've struggled (like many others) for a majority of my life with trying to be perfect, striving to be what I am "supposed to be" as told by my family, teachers, friends, community, media etc. It's horrible, and I won't claim to be cured of wanting to be perfect, but I'm realizing that this ideal that I (and so many others) strive towards, doesn't really exist.

There is NO way to please everyone around. My parents don't want the same things from me that my friends do, my friends don't want the same things as my professors, my professors don't want the same things the media expects of me, and most importantly, a lot of the time, I don't want what ANY of them want from me. So in a world where we we want to fit in and be accepted, how can we if there is so much noise surrounding who we are and the supposed ideal we're told to be?

It's taken me time to realize that the ideal isn't very realistic at all and it might not even exist. What matters most is my happiness, what matters most is pursuing my passions and doing something that I care about deeply. I can focus my energy and try to be a billion things that I'm not, or I can realize what I am and how to make that work for me.

I can spend all of my time trying to be thin, get 4.0's, get a high paying job, be the life of the party, read books, be good at math, have an attractive boyfriend, be trendy, etc. but what matters in the end is if I am happy. Selfish? Maybe, but I think that's what this time in my life is for.

I figure what does all of this matter if I'm not happy with who I am? It's SO, SO, hard to try to let go of what people think of you (after all, we all want to feel acceptance and to feel wanted) and I am no expert. I still care, but I'm trying to put myself first. I want to be happy, and there's no way that I can be if I'm too busy caring about how people think I should be. I can never be happy if I am constantly striving for something that is unattainable.

It's hard to grasp that because of my decisions, people may not like me, and it's even harder to accept people not liking me, but it's the only way I can make true progress in my life. I am proud of who I am and even more proud of the growth I have made to get here.

I'm finding that the more I let go of the idea of "perfection" the more happy I am with life and the better person I am become.

Grown Up But Not: UNLESS

The other day (and by the other day, I mean the past three days in a row) I watched The Lorax. Originally one of my favorite childhood books by Dr. Seuss turned movie, I just can't help but love it!

It is a good book and it is quite the entertaining movie as well, but it's more than that. We've got something to learn from it too!

In the movie, the Once-ler says to Ted:

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

Yes, this is a children's book and a children's movie (and yes, I still watch and read them at the ripe age of 22), but that quote rings true to anybody at any age.

Unless is such a powerful word; unless can change the world. Unless, meaning that except on the condition that _______________. Things will stay the same unless _______. Change starts with a fire in you that spreads to others, change can't happen unless someone believes and wants it to happen.

You can change the world. You, your friends, your family, your organization - y'all can change the world. Find what you're passionate about and let that be your guide.

Anyone can make change, but in less you ACTUALLY care (maybe a whole awful lot) that change won't matter, you won't inspire others to want to join you in your journey. People won't buy into change for change sake; people buy into your passion and because of that, your change with a purpose sticks and resonates.

Take a lesson from Dr. Seuss, the Lorax, the Once-ler, and Ted - be passionate, care, and make this world a better place.

Grown Up But Not

For those of you who know me, you know I am the biggest grandma-child contradiction ever. I am a lover of children's movies (to this day, one of my all-time favorites is The Prince of Egypt, go ahead, judge me), yet I have the reputation of being a grandma. When I was at school, I was either studying, planning, working, or sleeping; I did other things, of course, but it isn't what most people think of when they think of the "college life". I'm what some would like to call grown up but not.

It's this mentality that I have, that I decided I would start a series of blog posts called "Grown Up But Not" where I draw from children's books or movies and show how we can learn from them. I'm really excited about this, and for those of you who know me, I'm sure this comes as no surprise.

I mean, let's be real, I did write an 8-page paper synthesizing the theories of social science and epistemology with Harry Potter. I hope it's something that y'all enjoy, because I'm really excited for an excuse to watch more movies (all for the sake of blogging of course)!

We graduated, now what?

For those of you who don't know, I, like thousands of other around the nation, just graduated from college. It's a mixed bag of emotions for SO many people and after talking with some of my amazing friends and classmates it's a little bit terrifying.

I'll admit, it is a little bit terrifying. Why? Because this is what we've done for the past 16 years of our lives, we've been in school. The past 16 years have been filled with so much growth, so many experiences, but yet there was a constant and that was school. We went to class, we made friends, maybe we played sports, hopefully we did a little homework, we learned; it's what we knew, it's what we looked forward to, and it's what we dreaded. School has been our lives up until now, and now, we walked across a stage and were unleashed on the world. Weird, huh?

With all of this craziness that may or may not be swimming around in our heads, I think it's always important to never lose our childlike nature. We may not be in school anymore, but it doesn't mean we have to be grown ups quite yet, or ever. So yeah, graduation might be scary, but I know that we are all going to do amazing things. In the wise words of Dr. Seuss:

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.

Don't forget that you are smart and talented and amazing and a plethora of other things. Don't forget that you can choose what you do, who you help, and how you impact others. While you may be on your own, you're never alone; you have the people who helped you get to where you are now and the communities that you are a part of and going to join.

You've got a good head on your shoulders, go chase your dreams and don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough. It might be scary for a little bit, but don't let that fear stop you from reaching your dreams. Walk into the unknown with confidence, and show this world what you can do!

I believe in you, others believe in you, now you just have to believe in yourself.

YSK: Project Unbreakable

Very recently, I stumbled upon something great, something amazing, something awe inspiring. This something is called Project Unbreakable. And don't let the name fool you it's more than just a project, it is a community in itself, it is storytelling, it is so much more than I could ever describe, but I will try nonetheless.

Project Unbreakable was created in October of 2011 by Grace Brown; the project shows photographs of survivors of sexual assaults holding a poster with a quote from their attacker. These photographs are beyond powerful and shed light onto a subject that is often swept under the rug: sexual assault. These photographs make the experience real to other people, it's just not someone you heard of, it is something that you can see. It also says something about the survivors; it says they are stronger than their attacker, that they will not let this define them. Project unbreakable gives the survivors a chance to share their story, to have the last word.

Although I have never had to experience sexual assault, I know people who have, and I am forever grateful to Grace Brown for creating Project Unbreakable, it is something that is truly phenomenal.

Like I said, I can't possibly describe Project Unbreakable in words, so check it out for yourself!

Growth is optional

Growth, it's a funny thing really. We don't always realize it when it happens, but then we look back and we are somehow a different and better person.

For me, growth is positive change; that doesn't mean that positive things need to happen to you in order to grow, it means that you have to make the most out of those obstacles and opportunities and let the experience help teach you valuable lessons. Everything that happens to you will mold you in someway or another, it just really depends on how you view.

A lot of times we like to stay stuck in the same place. When I say that it sounds crazy, why would we ever want to stay in the same place, the same rut, that we are in? We should want to move forward, right? For some reason, we like to stay there and pity ourselves and make excuses for why things can't change,even though they can. The excuse that gets me the most is "that's just the way I am" or "that's how I was born/raised".

Just because you were born that way, just because you are currently that way, it doesn't mean you have to STAY that way. We aren't static creatures, we are constantly evolving into something different, little by little. Never underestimate your ability to change your future or shake up your "destiny". You are the way you are, but you can always change that. You aren't stuck, you just think you are. You don't have to be what you once were.

Change is inevitable and growth is optional. You don't have to be what you once were, that's just nonsense. Please don't let what you "always have been" dictate who you always be.

Don't follow the sheep

I believe in intentionality and purpose in the things that I do. I believe that our actions can change the world that we live in, and that they should change them for the better. With that being said, one thing I CANNOT stand is when people justify what they are doing with the fact that it's what everyone is doing.

There are many things wrong with this logic. I mean seriously, listen to yourself, well everyone else does it, so why don't I do it to? Like I've said in past blogs, we want to fit in, so why not just continue to go with the crowd? Other people doing it should not be the reason that you do it, following the crowd is NOT justification for your actions.

We should be intentional and figure out WHY we are doing things and we shouldn't let following the crowd be a valid reason for action. Blindly following the crowd will get you nowhere; you shouldn't let a group of others dictate how you are going to live your life.

So many times in Greek life or student government life, I hear people want to change because they hear thats what other people are doing or they know that's what other people are doing. They want to change so they can be like other people. But the real question is WHY? Will it make your organization better? Will it eliminate unnecessary steps in your processes? Or are you just doing it because other people do it?

Actions without purpose are pointless. Don't blindly follow the crowd, question it, be curious, and when needed, forge your own path towards greatness.

Be curious, it will take you a long way.

Invest in yourself

As corny and cliche as it sounds, the most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. 

Yeah, other people are awesome, other people are cool, but don't ever forget that YOU are awesome and amazing and cool and whatever other good words you can come up with. So before you go investing your life in other people, I'd advise you to invest in yourself.

Invest in yourself, because that is a lifelong relationship you will ALWAYS have. It's a unique relationship that no one else can match, because you can get in a fight with anyone and walk away, but you can't walk out on yourself. You have to learn to be okay with who you are; understand who you are and embrace. Spend time with yourself to figure out what YOU actually want and what you feel you deserve. So even though it's scary to be alone sometimes, it's something you have to do. You have to figure yourself out before you can even start to think about other people.

Invest in yourself first, everything else is secondary. That may seem selfish, but the way I see it, only once you know and love yourself can you begin to truly invest in other people. To try to invest in others without first investing in yourself is not only a huge disservice to you, but also to those you are trying to invest in. Know yourself, love yourself, because it's only then that you can begin those relationships with others.

All cynicism aside, people will change, you will change, and so will your relationships with others - at the end of the day, all you have is yourself and you've got to learn to be okay with that.

So, what's Greek Week?

If you've been on any campus with a Greek community on it, I am sure you have heard of the holy grail of the Greeks, more commonly referred to as GREEK WEEK.

Now, here's the sad part. You ask any Greek member what Greek Week is and you will get some lame answer like:

"We have an event/competition every day like sports and lip sync and they're worth points. At the end of the week someone wins"

UH, WHAT?! Like really, when you say it like that I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. But wait, I actually understand nothing, because that is a piss poor answer for what Greek Week is. It makes it seem like Greek Week is just one battle royale between fraternities and sororities, a small Greek Olympics if you may. If that's all you can give people, no one is getting an accurate picture of what Greek Week is.
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Let's break it down here. Greek Week. Seems like it should be a WEEK of being GREEK. Crazy right? But wait, if you're Greek, you should always be Greek right? Right! Greek Week is a week to showcase being Greek and live our values.

Greek Week should be Greek life amplified. To only showcase sports is belittling the Greek Community. Do Greeks only play sports all year? NO. We are students and scholars, we do service projects and community service, we create community in our own organizations and in the greater Greek Community. So isn't that what Greek Week should be about? Shouldn't Greek Week reflect our values and who we ARE.

Greek Week should be a celebration of our accomplishments, showcase of our values, and a chance to get outside of our own organizations and build a stronger community. If Greek Week is only competition based, how can we hope to foster the growth of a community when competition makes us want to annihilate each other in these sporting events.As entertaining as it to watch chapters battle it out, it makes us seem like savages to the outside world. Crazy women who are tackling each other in flag football and men throwing out their arms trying to peg each other with dodgeballs. Savages. Seriously, why do we choose to portray ourselves like that?

We are more than competition, we are more than sports, we are more than dancing, we are more than matching shirts. We are more than what we typically show during this week.

It's time to step up and make Greek Week something that we can all be proud of, something that shows the larger community that we are more than just the stereotypes they see in the media. Get to know other chapters and their members and help build our community up instead of tear it down. Greek Week is more than just sports, so take advantage of every moment to help the community shine.

The constant journey

Life isn't about reaching some end destination, it's more about how you get to where you're going. The journey is far more important to where you're going.

It's all about the journeys that get you from place to place, the people you meet, and the person you are constantly becoming. I am a huge believer that you are not finished yet, and you won't ever really be. You are always growing and evolving, and it's this journey that makes you a greater (hopefully) person.

Sometimes we will get discouraged because we aren't getting to where we are going quite the way that we wanted to, but when times get tough, don't get discouraged by how much further you have to go, rather, you should try to remember how far you have already come. When you look back, you will be amazed at your progress; it's not an all at once thing, it's gradual that you become a better greater person. You may not be where you want quite yet, but you sure aren't where you started either. Progress is something to be proud of.

We will always have goals, we will always have places we want to be (whether physical or not), but once they are reached, we still keep going. There is no end and we won't be finished, because life is a continual journey until the day we die.

You're not finished yet, so don't you dare give up.

I'll want you back

One of my greatest traits or maybe worst flaws is this: I will always want you in my life, regardless of the pain and hurt you have caused me.

My friends are frustrated by this, because I will continue to let people who hurt me back into my life. I just believe that if you were a part of my life at one point, I can't imagine letting you go and pretending like nothing ever happened. Excommunicating you from my life is easy, pretending like we were never friends is easy, but I don't want easy. I'll do what's hard because our relationship is important to me. Whether it be a friend who talked about me behind my back or that douche lord guy who made me cry all of the time, I will always let you back into my life, because at some point, once upon a time, we were good together.

I choose to hold on to the good times that we had, rather than focus on the ways that I was hurt, call it naive, but it's the only way I know how. I'm not saying it doesn't suck, because it does. Sometimes I get really angry (which is honestly a very scary thing if you have ever had to experience that wrath) or I get sad, but then I get through it. In almost every situation, after I've thought about it and had my emotional outburst, I will decide that our relationship is much more important than whatever made me sad or angry. Like I said before Forgiveness isn't foolish.

Some think it's a fatal flaw, but I think it makes me a stronger and possibly much weirder person and I am 100% okay with that. I will always open myself to get hurt again because I value relationships and relationships aren't just about the good, but about getting back up from the bad as well. Some people tell me I'm being used or taken advantage of, but regardless, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm not delusional enough to think that things will be the same, because they won't be. I don't want the same relationship back, but I still want us to have a relationship of some sort. I understand that people drift apart, but I can't let the reason be because of one stupid fight or because I was hurt.

I'd rather open myself up to be hurt over and over again than shut you out because I'm afraid. Some say I'll never learn, but I DO learn with each hurt, heartbreak, and disappointment. I learn more about myself and more about others, but I don't think I'll ever learn to stop forgiving. I don't think I'll ever learn to stop fighting for the people that are important to me. Regardless if you call it dumb or admirable, it's how I choose to live.

Moral of the story, I choose to forgive because I want you in my life.

In the end, it all boils down to one question: What's more important, your ego/pride or your relationship? For me, the answer will always be a relationship.

Not half bad

You are smart. You are competent. You are beyond capable. You are MORE than enough.

We often forget these tings; it's easy for all of your greatness to get lost. That sounds weird, but let's be honest, you are great, regardless of what other people tell you. We forget our beauty, intelligence, and good characteristics. We instead focus on our negative aspects and let those get us down. We're too busy beating ourselves up to realize that we're not half bad, that in all actuality, we're pretty damn amazing.

I just wanted to remind y'all that you are smart and you are more than enough. You know what else? You are FAR too smart to allow yourself to stand in the way of your own dreams. Stop beating yourself up and chase your dreams.

Do I make my head look big?

No one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be called out for their flaws. We crave acceptance, we want to belong, and we want to be liked.

We cope with being "flawed" (I'll talk about that at a later date, because in my mind, we aren't flawed, society just makes us think we are, but I digress) with defense mechanisms. We do things so that people can't hurt us, we try to cope so that we don't have to deal with the pain of rejection or embarrassment.

One of the ways that we do this, is we call ourselves out first. In example, I've been told I have a giant head, and I believed it. So I would always point out my giant head before anyone else could. I would rather spout off the things that are wrong with me, rather than someone else call me out for my abnormally large head. A more common example is when perhaps a girl doesn't wear makeup or maybe her hair isn't done; one of the first things she will do is apologize and point out the fact that she has no makeup on or that her hair is mess. Maybe she does it sarcastically or jokingly or seriously, but the point is she does it. We all do it. We all point out our flaws first so that someone can't. It makes sense... kind of.

I do it and I know I do it because I don't want to be called out for something, because it sucks. But think about it in a different light; what if people don't actually notice that you aren't wearing makeup or your hair isn't done quite right or that you have an abnormally large head. You pointing out your perceived flaws makes people think about them, even if people weren't thinking about them originally. Because you said it first, they are now thinking about it and that is their first impression about who you are. So maybe, this whole point out your flaws first defense mechanism isn't the best.

We do this not only on a personal level but on a community level, whether we are talking about our Greek life, school, sports team, etc. we want to point out the flaws and stereotypes first so that someone else can't do it. A lot of the times, it's not what people think first, but we put it in their minds for them.

So maybe, just maybe, we should stop worrying so much about our supposed "flaws" and just live. Live to the fullest and try not to care because most of the time, people won't notice your big head or messy hair, and if they do, it probably doesn't matter that much to them. If we make a big deal out of things, they become a big deal.

Just let go, be yourself, and if people judge, then they judge and you'll be just fine. You aren't flawed and you shouldn't present yourself that way.

I dare you

Like I said in yesterday's blog post, we don't usually push ourselves to the limit. When asked to do something, it's very rare that we do it to the absolute best of our ability. We don't go all out.

Why? I think we don't go all out because we are terrified that our best won't be good enough, and I can see how that is scary. No one wants to feel failure, no one wants to think they aren't "good enough". It's sucks, I'll admit it, but there are different ways to look at it. 

Yeah, if we go all out, we may come up short, and that kind of sucks. But look at it this way, now you know what you need to work on to achieve your goal. You'll realize how important (or not) it is to you and find a way to proceed. Failure is not who you are, it's just a part of the journey, so don't let it define you.. Find the good, learn from it, and go from there. 

Another downside of going all is that it is exhausting. Seriously. To go all out, all of the time, is hard stuff, but I think it's worth it. You have one life, so why not be thoroughly invested in it? Like my blog title says: This is your life, your time is now. Let your passion drive you, there is no better time to put your whole heart into the things you do than right now. 

Be present in the moment, be invested in others, be invested in yourself. You have the ability to make your life absolutely amazing, you have the opportunity to help make others' lives more amazing, so why not do it? Invest in yourself, relationships, and others, I guarantee your life will be so much better.

Go all out, I dare you.

Lessons from running

You know what's kind of weird? That a lot of the times, we don't try, and when I say that,  I mean we very rarely go all out. 

Let's compare it to running. When I go running, I usually run and then once I start getting tired or a little uncomfortable, and that's what most people do. You walk for a while and then wait for your so-called "second wind", but recently, I've started thinking that that "second wind" is really just another first.

I think that we very rarely go long enough on our first wind to need a second wind. We don't like to push ourselves. We get out of our comfort zone and then we say we're done. This is the hard part, we have to push past being tired and being a little uncomfortable and see what we can REALLY do. Go all out and see what your real limits are, not just the ones you make up. The other day, I kept going after I started feeling a little tired, and you know what? I ended up running 5 miles on my "first wind" and believe me, I would NEVER think that was possible without me dying on the side of the road (okay, maybe a little dramatic, but you get the point).

My point is, you've got one chance now, so why not monopolize on that and go all out? See what you can do and amazed at how far you can go. Push yourself to the limit and not to the ones you make up, but the ones that are real, because the hardest obstacles to overcome are the ones that are made up in the mind, not actual ones. So push yourself, you'd be surprised at what you can accomplish.

More than me

A lot of people ask me why I do what I do. Why do I spend so many more hours at work than I am required to? Why do I still do things with my sorority, when I don't have a position and I'm graduating? Why do I take so many classes? Why do I intern if it's not a requirement?

I can see how it's confusing to some, but to me it's really clear. While it is to help improve myself, it's more than that. It's passion. It's a love for the communities I am in and the things that I do. Actually, it's more than passion, it's vision and hope for the future.

If you just think about what you do, you won't get far. You can accomplish tasks, but you won't feel fulfilled. If you just think about what you get for what you do, you have an incentive to do what you're doing, so you might be marginally happier, but still I don't know if you'd be fulfilled. What I think will really drive you and make happy and feel fulfilled, is realizing WHY you are doing something. Working for a why, for a purpose, for a passion, can drive you further than any money or task ever will.

One of the greatest realizations I have come to in my life is this: while this is my life, the things I do shouldn't be solely for me. Yeah, self-gratification is great, but what's even better is helping build something bigger than myself. This life is not only my own, I am a part of many communities, and the things I do are to help grow my communities stronger and to leave them much better than when I came in.

Each individual, every person, has a chance to make an impact, and the great thing about that is YOU can choose what kind of impact you wish to make. By just realizing that ability of yours to impact those around you, you are ahead of the game. You can see how your actions aren't just yours, they are your community's. You are an agent of change, whether that be for better or worse; you matter and you can and will make a difference.

Your life has purpose, now go chase it and show the world what you can do.

People like me

Today I was working our Election Party for student government (complete with music, cheesy bread, soda, and my awkward noodle dancing). I got to meet a lot of cool people, help people through the process, and educate students on what student government is and what we do for them. It was honestly one of the best things to be able to talk to people and know more about what they want while I taught them a little about what I do.

During this little Election Party we had, there was girl sitting alone, so of course, me being me, I went up and introduced myself to her. We talked about a plethora of things from what ASEWU (Associated Students of Eastern Washington University) is and what they do to her wanting to join a sorority in the upcoming fall. I loved every second of our conversation because I learned about her, her day, and what she wanted to do. But at some point in the conversation she stopped me and said:

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but why are you being so nice to me?"

I was taken aback and I didn't know what to say. We got to talking about the question and she said some things that truly broke my heart. She told me that people don't usually go out of their way to talk to her, that people don't usually seem to care about what her day is like, and that she had a hard time making friends. What broke my heart the most is that she said "you're really pretty and popular and people like you never want to talk to me".

People like me.

It hurt my heart to know that she felt that way and that she felt like she was ignored by "people like me". People like me, who are involved in the university and seemingly popular, should be the ones who reach out the most. We should be getting people to join us and be a part of our community. We should want people to feel the same things that we do because we a part of that community.

You are NEVER too good to treat someone like a human being. Be the person to have start a conversation and be willing to listen. You should never underestimate the power of a conversation or kind words, because it is those words and conversations that will impact someone more than you may ever know.

"People like me" should be instigators of change. We shouldn't do what has always be done, we should push ourselves out of our comfort zone, so that what needs to be done, gets done. We may be afraid of rejection, but those who aren't "like me" are probably a lot more frightened, so reach out and be that person.
Be the change and foster the growth of your community, there are so many amazing people out there just waiting for a spark.

The disconnect isn't so bad

Let's be real, we all LOVE our cellphones.

We wake up in the morning, we check our social media and texts. From the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep, we are connected.

What's sad is how much we depend on that thing. Heaven forbid we are in a meeting or in a class and we CAN'T check it. We have anxiety, we panic. We can't check our phones, WHAT DO WE DO?!?!

Recently, my phone met an untimely death by submersion in toilet water; I didn't have a phone for an entire week. The first two days were rough and I didn't know how to survive, I'd feel weird leaving the house, I was worried important stuff was happening and I wouldn't know about it because I had no phone. But then it got normal and I was fine and I could do whatever I wanted. It was nice not having a phone and having to be a slave to that thing. 

So what's the point of all this? I have a challenge for all y'all. 

The challenge? Tomorrow when you're walking to places, don't walk around with your phone in your hand. Really, in those 10 minutes you take to walk to class, I don't think you'll miss that much. Take the time to see how beautiful (or not) the place you live in is, actually SEE people you know and say hi to them, take time to think about life. Just don't look at your phone and see how it goes.

Don't sell yourself short

This video is somewhat long, but if you take the time to watch it, I promise it will make you think differently about yourself. If you don't want to watch this one, HERE is a link to a shortened and more condensed version.

The differences in the self-described image and the image that others described is huge, and it just goes to show how much we beat ourselves up about how we look. How much society has made us think that there is something wrong with us, but the reality is, we are all beautiful in our own ways. People see our personalities shine through and they see the beauty within and they see more beauty than we see in ourselves.

This video honestly makes me want to cry, and one of the women said "we spend a lot of time analyzing and trying to fix the things that aren't quite right and we should spend more time appreciating the things we do like". She couldn't have been more right. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with us, realize we all have so much going on for ourselves. We are naturally beautiful and even though society may tell us otherwise, it is true.

The way we see ourselves is skewed and it impacts everything we do. The way we see ourselves is critical to who we are. We need to stop picking ourselves apart and realize that we are beautiful and we are our own worst critics.

We've got a lot to work on, but it has nothing to do with our appearance and it has to do with our confidence. Realizing that you are lovely and beautiful just the way you are is a step in the right direction. We don't need to fix our appearance, we need to fix our self-perception of ourselves. We need to stop letting society tell us we aren't good enough, because the truth is, we are more than good enough.

You are more beautiful than you think, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.

You have to be flexible

From my previous posts, we all know that I am a planner (however, it's a tad less extreme than it used to be. Baby steps you know?). I like to know what's happening, which every time I say that, it sounds a little bit sillier. Plans are good, but I'm learning to let go of having everything be so concrete, and I like it.

I used to think that plans were necessary, and while sometimes they are, a lot of the times they aren't. Plans are helpful guidelines, not the end all be all. Plans don't always help you get where you're going, sometimes they are a hindrance.

Let's think about it this way. I am planning going somewhere. I will leave at a certain time, I will get onto the freeway, I will arrive at a certain time. Sounds like a good sensible plan, right? But then as your driving, you hear that there was an accident on your route that caused a traffic jam, do you continue with your plan? No. Unless you are a complete fool, then maybe you might. You find another way to get where you are going that won't put you into gridlock. You change your plans and don't think twice about it.

Plans are good, but you have to be flexible and know when it's time to let go. Don't hold on to your plans so much that it stops you from doing something big or meeting someone amazing. While you may have one plan, just remember there are millions of other opportunities out there as well.

Finding our "other half" is pure nonsense and quite honestly, BS

I think the biggest mistake that our parents made when raising us, the biggest mistake that society has made, is letting us think that we are just one half of a whole and that somewhere out there, there is a person who will complete us. This whole logic makes us seem like we aren't real until we magically find that other half of us that is missing, this logic is what makes us all crazy looking for "the one".

Don't get me wrong, I believe in love and all that jazz, but I don't know about this other half nonsense. I think we are all born as whole, unique, and individual people, not half a person looking for another half a person. My main point here, is that we were all born whole and we are all able to exist on our own. However, just because we can exist on our own doesn't mean that we all have to be alone.

The way I see it, we're like complementary products. On our own we're good, but with other people we can be amazing and even more awesome than we ever were. Like graham crackers, those things are delicious; great complements to the graham cracker are marshmallows and chocolate. Sometimes frosting is good too. But alone, graham crackers are still delicious. With other things they just become even more awesome.

So I guess I'm saying we're like graham crackers. We're awesome on our own, but there are people that will come around (marshmallows, chocolate, frosting, etc) that will make us much more awesome. We don't NEED those things all the time, but they are still good when they are together. We are graham crackers and the marshmallows, chocolate, frosting, etc. those are our soul mates.

I believe we all have soul mates, but I don't think they complete us, I think they make us better. Also, I'm not so sold on the fact that we just have one soul mate; I think we have multiple. There are people that will come into our lives and they will help show us something amazing and help us be more amazing than we already were, and most importantly, they will stay. Not all the time, not forever, but when they are around, the awesomeness prevails.

I think society has it all wrong and we all get sucked into looking for "the one" that we forget to realize how great the people around us are. I think a lot of our best friends are our soul mates, making us better and more awesome than before. And all of this may seem a little weird to you, but I believe in soul mates and I believe in love, and maybe one of your soul mates is romantic and intimate and what not, that's cool, but you need to realize that you don't need them to make you complete.

So please, remember to live your life and not worry about finding "the one." You have awesome people surrounding you, those people could be your soul mates. We've all been trained to think that we can have only one soul mate, and it will be some romantic crazy Nicholas Sparks movie, and our life will be complete and better. I don't believe that. I believe in soul mates, multiple ones, that enrich our lives and make us both better.

Soul mates are the people you connect with, the people you love, and the people that stick around even after the shit hits the fan. You may get mad at each other, things might get awkward for a while, but you come back together and you remember how great y'all are together. Your soul mates are forever, they are timeless.

If only you try

The other day I was walking around campus, and came across a quote, written on a board. It said:

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will"

More often than not, we let ourselves stand in the way of dreams. We tell ourselves that we can't do it or that we're not good enough, so why even try? and we leave it at that. We choose to defeat ourselves before any obstacle can. So we just find a reason why we can't do something and settle with that.

We limit ourselves by saying that we can't do something. We confine ourselves with doubt. Doubt is what stops us from even trying to do something. Doubt is in our minds and we let it rule how we act.

Be courageous and do things that your mind says you can't. Because if you can't, then you can't, but you will never know if you never even try. Failure is an option, yes, but you won't achieve anything by sitting around and being limited by what you think you can do. If we all did what we thought we could do, how would we ever progress.

Doubt is a crazy thing, but so is courage. Know what to fear; because a lot of the obstacles we face are ones that we made up and already decided how things would turn out.

Real obstacles can be overcome easily, it's the ones that we make up in our minds that are the hardest to beat. Don't doubt yourself, because you can do amazing things, if only you try.

Don't be afraid, be a child

We all need help sometimes, but the things is, a lot of the time, we have trouble asking for it. We've all heard someone say "There's no such thing as a stupid question" but that doesn't really make us any more willing to ask questions.

Why are we so afraid of judgement? Why are we so afraid of failure? All that that fear does to us is cripple us; it limits us. We will never know the answers to the questions that we don't ever ask. There is so much untapped potential in each of us, because we are all afraid of the same things: rejection or some form of failure.

There was a time when we were unblemished by this fear, when our curiosity was free; this was when we were children. I mean think about it, children can talk forever and ask whatever questions they want to, because they aren't afraid, they just want the answers. We grow up and we become way too concerned with what other people think of us that we are afaraid to speak up; so you know what I think? We should be more childlike. I pride myself on being "grown up but not" because while I am mature, I refuse to be a grown up. I want to be as much like a child as I can, because there is no reason we should take ourselves as seriously as we do sometimes. Live, have fun, play with whoever you want, ask the questions that you need to, and have lots of snacks and naps. Just because we grow older, it doesn't mean that we have to leave those pieces behind.

We let our fear dictate what we do and what we act, but imagine what it would be like if we didn't care. Does it really matter if that guy in your class thinks your idea is stupid? The answer is no, not really. Plus, at least from my standpoint, I have no room to judge. You do you and be proud of who you are, it's much better than suppressing who you are to "fit in". You'd be surprised on how many awesome people are out there, if you were just willing to be yourself.

The world would be a better place if people weren't so afraid to ask for help. So push yourself, be courageous, and help make something great because you weren't afraid to ask a question. Make something great because you made the decision to be exactly who you are with no fear of judgement.

Ask for help. Be curious. Be who you are. Change the world.

Mistakes we knew we were making

Mistakes are made, it's how we progress from there that helps shape who we are.

You make a mistake. It's been made and the reality is, you can't change it, but now, now you have a choice to make. You can hold on to that mistake and think yourself crazy about how things could have or would have been OR you can take that mistake, try to learn from it as much as you can, and move forward.

Holding onto mistakes won't change what happen. Thinking about what went wrong and how it went wrong and how things would be different if you were just able to change it, then fantasizing about what would have been, is literally just hurting yourself. You are choosing to let it get to you. Feel reflect and figure out how to proceed next time, that's good. But agonizing over what could have been will get you nowhere; it's time for you to look towards forward progress.

It's not so much about the mistake you made in the past, it's about the new beginning you were given. While you may not have gotten your desired outcome the first time, you have today to start again. You have a new day and new opportunities, opportunities that shouldn't be wasted because you are too busy regretting a mistake you made in the past.

Life is short, your time is now. Be brave, be daring, be bold - don't let your past mistakes hold you back from living life. Stop going over your mistakes; as cliche as it sounds you have to stop reading the last chapter in your life and start writing the one you are currently in. Keep on going, life has much more in store for you.

You have to take chances that are meaningful to you, because whatever those mistakes are, they will be worth it. Life is happening right now, and you have a chance to get it right, you just have to stop thinking about the past mistakes and take your chance now. Every moment is a new opportunity for you to make things happen, realize that and take a chance. Your time is now.

Playing it safe

We all strive for success, conversely we usually hate failure. This isn't news, this isn't rocket science.

While we all want to succeed, we can't let our fear of failure stop us from doing something great. We were all meant for more than mediocrity, we were born to me more than normal, more than average. But the thing is, we will never know until we take those chances, until we take that leap with knowledge that we can fail.

Yeah, you can play it safe, but is it really fulfilling to continue achieving things that you already know you are capable of? Playing it safe can get you to the middle, and I don't think that's a very nice to place to be. Playing it safe breeds mediocrity, and I know that I am made for more than that and that you are made for more than being mediocre.

Playing it safe will get you to be somewhere safe, and while being safe is comfortable, is really something you want to be? Push your limits, put yourself out there and see how big the world really is. Because while the middle is safe and being out on the edge is scary, it's one hell of a view. The only way you are going to see what's out there

Yes, there will be failure, but you'll be able to see exactly what it is you are capable of. You'll be able to see how great you can be, rather than how mediocre your life is.

Playing it safe makes you comfortable, but pushing your limits makes you great.

This is for the freaks

Like I said in an early blog post, Everyone wants to feel wanted. It's just a natural and basic desire that we all have. We all want to be a part of a community, we all want to be a part of a group.

The trouble comes when we want this community or group so badly that we are willing to change who we are to be a part of something that we aren't. While being a part of the group is alluring and acceptance is often yearned for, if we aren't a part of the right group or community, it isn't very beneficial.

We join a group in which we don't fit and we expend so much time and energy trying to fit in and be something that we're not. Why not take that time and energy finding the place where we do fit in, a community where we DON'T have to try to be something that we're not. While the search may be a little bit more tiring, I guarantee you that once you find them, it will be a lot easier.

We've been taught to try and follow the norm and to be normal, but have you every noticed how much it weird you out when people are "normal" or "perfect"? Maybe it's just me, but when people are too normal, I wonder what they are hiding or I think they are just plain old boring. I don't see what's so great about normal, why would I want and actively strive to be like everyone else? I believe we were all born to stand out. What's more, if we spend LESS time trying to be like everyone else, we have more time to be ourselves and to do something that actually matters; we have more time to cultivate our "weirdness" and put it to use and create something great.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, live it the way you see fit. Who cares if people think you're weird or a freak, at the end of the day it's what you wanted. Acting the way that gets you most widely accepted may get you accepted, but it's only acting. When you find a group of people who love you when you don't have to act, THAT is happiness. You don't want to have to find a way to fit in the norm, you want to find a norm that fits with who you are.

So stop trying to be what you aren't and figure out why your weirdness makes you more kick-ass than the "normal" person. To all my freaks and weirdos out there, I love y'all, let's find our people and make things happen in our world!

Numb it down

Sometimes, feelings suck, especially the ones that make us sad and the ones that make us cry. We'll do a lot of reckless things out of desperation so that we don't have to deal with being sad. We'll do anything to numb the pain that we feel inside.

That's fine and dandy, and I'm not one to judge, but in the end what are all of these things going to do for us? They really are quite useless. No amount of alcohol, running, dieting, or drugs is going to change what happened whether it be a heartbreak or a death. We can numb ourselves to the pain, we can try to forget about the pain, and it will go away for a little bit, but it will come back. It will come back after all of your distractions are gone and it will still hurt.

Being numb helps sometimes, because sometimes it's too hard to deal with the feelings you have. But just because you can numb the pain sometimes, does not mean it goes away, it just means that the pain is delayed. As hard as it is, you have to deal with those feelings and try and make sense of what happened. The sooner the better.

Being numb is comfortable sometimes, but one thing I've learned from this whole numbing technique is that when you try to numb yourself from one thing, you seldom have control over it. If you numb yourself to one thing, you numb yourself to everything else and that is no way to live your life. Life is going to hurt, but it's also going to feel absolutely amazing; in my opinion, it's worth the lows to feel those highs.

I know now, I'd much rather feel a vast array of emotions, than to go through life with things just being "fine" and being numb to everything. All of the feelings, even the sucky ones, are worth it.

Forgiveness isn't foolish

People will hurt you, it is inevitable, but the greatest strength by far comes in your ability to truly forgive them.  That's easy to say, but hard to do.

Holding a grudge is easy, but let me tell you, it takes a lot out of you. To hold is a grudge and to spend your time seething in anger is not punishing the person you are mad at, rather, it's punishing you. You deserve to be happy, we all deserve happiness, and to let hate into your heart so that you can "punish" the other person is just pure nonsense.

Forgiveness isn't just for the person who has wronged you. Forgiveness is for you. Forgive because you don't have room in your heart to hate. Forgive because you don't have time to hold a grudge. Forgive, because in the end you will be better off for it.

Take the leap

As I've said before, I'm a planner. I have my plans and I don't like them to change, even though they inevitably do. This year, things have changed (not a lot, don't get too excited) and I have been less rigid with my planning.

For a long time in my life, I did what other people expected of me, I did what other people wanted, after all, I didn't want to disappoint. At some point, that changed and I started more of what I wanted and what I loved, even if it disappointed a few people in my life. At some point, I learned that I can't waste my time living a life that I didn't want. This made the planner in me emerge like none other.

I wanted to plan to make sure that I was on track with my dreams. I need to ensure that I wasn't straying from what I wanted. I'm finally seeing that while my dreams are great and they are amazing, they are there to help guide my life, not plan out every step of the journey.

So what if things don't go exactly as planned? Is it REALLY going to be the end of the world? Answer: No. Life is going to happen, regardless if I've planned for it or not.

One thing that I am so grateful that I've learned is that while plans are good and dandy, I can't let them limit who I am or what I do. I've learned that sometimes, I have to take a chance, because I have NO idea how absolutely perfect (or not) things could turn out, and when I look at it that way, it makes all this planning I do seem really silly.

Life isn't always about plans, sometimes it's all in that leap of faith.

Futures

People always ask me what I am going to do when I graduate and I never know what to tell them, but I am not afraid of that question. I don't question my abilities, I just question where I will apply them.

I want to work somewhere that allows me not only to utilize the education and skills I earned at college, but also allows me to be happy in my work. This isn't about doing what's fun or gets the biggest paycheck, it is giving me the opportunity to help others. Anyone can make money, it's not that hard, but I want to love my life and what I do afterwards, not just punch in and punch out.

I need something to believe in, something to work for, not just someone to work for. I want to believe in people, because I know that we can all do such amazing things, if we can just be inspired. I want to put my heart and soul into something that I believe in, I want to make the place I live better.

So I guess the answer is that I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I am not afraid. Who knows where I'll end up, but where I am isn't what matters; I want to be a part of something bigger than myself, I want to help others and I want to make this world a better place. If we can ever to hope to change this place, we have to be the change. Call me foolish, but I believe it's what I'm supposed to do. I may be a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

If you let it

Insecurity will destroy if you allow it to, believe that.

Every struggles with who they are at some point, it's hard to be 100% confident, 100% of the time, especially with the pressure that society puts on all of us. It also gets especially hard to see the beauty in ourselves when things go wrong. We try and figure out what is "wrong" with us, and that's where the trouble starts.

Maybe he/she would like me if I was taller or if my head wasn't so big, or if my hair was nicer, or if I was skinnier, or if my teeth were straighter, or maybe if I had bigger boobs. Honestly, I could go on forever about reasons that I'm not good enough, but it doesn't change the fact that no matter how close to "perfect" you get, you are never going to be happy with who you are.

It's a sad reality when we live in a place where we think that the things on the outside will change how people feel about us. The things that we tell ourselves late at night aren't true - changing how you look outside won't make things better for you on the inside. If the solution to all of your problems is making yourself look better, I can almost guarantee that no matter how good you look, there will always be something missing.

So as hard as it is, you have to learn to embrace who you are, flaws and all. Because it's those differences that make you uniquely you. It's those differences that set you apart. I truly believe that someday, you will find someone who loves you for just who you are, and I can't think of anything more perfect than finding someone you can be absolutely comfortable with.

Some days it will be hard, and that voice inside telling you that you aren't good enough will be loud, but you have to be able to tell it that it's wrong. Because like I said, insecurity will destroy you if you let it.

Everyone wants to feel wanted

All we ever want, is to be wanted; everyone loves to feel like they are wanted, everyone wants to feel needed somewhere. Personally, I struggle with this because I, like everyone else, LOVE to feel wanted and needed. I also love to make people happy, which can make for quite the combination.

I'm a people pleaser, I like people to be happy,  I want them to be happy. Really, I want to live me life to help other people, but that's a different story. As long as I can remember, I've been this way. I'd rather have other people be happy, then get what I want a lot of the times. I will bend over backwards so that I can get people what they want, I will do almost anything so that people can be happy. It has mattered what the cost was, if I have the ability to make someone happy, I will do it. Why? Because I want to feel wanted, I want to feel needed.

Too often, I am willing to drop everything so that others will be happy. If I feel like I'm wanted, if I feel like I'm needed, I am more than willing to place my life on hold. It is that urge to make people happy that makes me stay in a place that may not be the best for me. If you asked me stay, I probably would, and at the very least, I'd heavily consider it. I never really thought of it that way, but I just want to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible; I want to be wanted, plain and simple.

As good as it is to feel wanted, I'm finally learning that I have to start doing things for myself. I have to move on from where I feel comfortable and wanted; I have to pursue my own dreams, even if that means leaving some of the things I love behind. I'm learning that just because I am choosing what's best for me, doesn't mean I'm not choosing who and what I love. Feeling wanted is nice and helping others is good, but I have got to do somethings for myself. I can't cling so tightly to that feeling of being wanted, that I lose sight of where I'm going.

Lose the crutch

No one likes to fail, or at least not anyone I know. Sometimes it's embarrassing, and who likes to be embarrassed? But failure happens; failure is necessary to learn and progress. It all depends on how you handle it, but failure isn't always a bad thing.

One thing we love to do when we fail is find something to blame it on. I didn't win because I ate a burger before the game. I didn't get a good grade because my professor doesn't like me.

Excuses, everyone has them, but here's the kicker: excuses are just a crutch, and if you lean on the too long, you're just crippling yourself. You won't grow from making excuses as to why you can't do something. Excuses are just a crutch to hold yourself up on because you don't think you're ready to stand alone.

Excuses absolve you of your responsibility, they shift the blame to something that was out of your control. If you want to grow, you need to own your mistakes; have an internal locus of control, if you may. Realize that while you can blame failure on outside forces, you can also take the responsibility for what is happening to you.

We all fail, but it takes true strength to take responsibility and own our mistakes. It takes strength to look back and be able to find a way to improve from the experience. Failure doesn't have to be all bad, because from each opportunity that you did not succeed in, you gain experience and you can learn a valuable lesson if you just search for it. It's not to say tear yourself apart with what could have been, but rather to see if there is anything you should/ought to do the next time a similar situation arises. Every struggle is an opportunity for growth, failure shouldn't knock you down, it should make you stronger.

The way I see it, it's only a failure if you learned nothing from the experience. So lose the crutch, and figure out how the experience can make you a better.

Gotta get up from here

When things don't go the way I want, I'm disappointed and I get upset, it's a natural reaction.

You can be as sad or angry as you want, for as long or short as you want, but the reality is, you have got to get up from there.

I'm not saying you can't be sad, that would be ridiculous. To try and pretend like you're not sad, to try and pretend your emotions don't exist won't help anything. Go ahead, feel bad, feel sorry for yourself, by all means go sulk! I mean, I've been known to throw a pretty rockin' pity party for myself (complete with blankets, netflix, ice cream, chips and guacamole, and whatever other food I desire), but the fact is I have to get up from here.

Feeling sorry for yourself will do nothing for you and it will get you nowhere. You have to get up and shake it off. Once you're done being sad, you have to realize that you were meant for something more than what made you sad. Learn from what happened, grow from the experience, and then go be happy and be the bad ass you were meant to be. Be resilient, bounce back, and grow from every curveball that life throws at you.

I mean, when in doubt, reflect on the great words of Chumbawamba (yes, I love the 90s )"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down". They also go on to talking about whiskey drinks and vodka drinks, but you can ignore that part and just get straight to the point: when life doesn't go as planned, you can stay down for a little, but ultimately you gotta get back up and give it another try, after all, you were meant to do some pretty amazing things.

Ready or not, here it comes

Sometimes, life is scary. The future is scary, the unknown is terrifying.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a planner. I know what I want, I have a plan to get it, and that is that. I don't like it when things don't go according to plan, but when that happens, don't you worry, because I have a backup plan. Which is really quite ridiculous when I say it aloud, because people plan and God laughs.

I've planned a lot in my life and I can honestly say that the best times I have had have been unscripted, unplanned, and unforeseeable. Planning is good, but the reality is, life is going to happen, whether I plan for it or not. Regardless if you're ready, life is still going to come at you, second after second, day after day. I didn't plan to end up where I am, but alas, here I am.

Lately, a lot of things haven't been going as planned and even though things haven't been going according to my great plan, I am happy. I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished, I am happy with where I am, and I am so thankful for the people around me and everything that I have in my life. It may have not been the plan, but let me tell you, my life is awesome and I wouldn't change a thing. While the plan looks great on paper, my life feels even better - even with all the deviations from my grand plan.

The biggest thing to remember is that life is scary and walking straight into the unknown that is the future is terrifying, but life's going to happen, whether you are ready for it or not. Every second you spend worrying isn't going to change a thing. So live freely, love with a reckless abandon, and give of yourself to serve others and make the world a better place, after all, this life is all you have. I have a huge belief that if things are meant to be, they will be, and if they weren't meant to be, then it was a good time and a good experience.

I've learned that sometimes, you have to let go of your plans and take every joy, triumph, and disappointment as they come. Be who you are and love what you do. Let your life unfold, you could be very pleasantly surprised.

Comparison will kill you

I am not perfect; I am not the greatest person, but I am more than fine with that, I am happy.

One of the greatest things that I could have ever realized is that there will never be someone who is more Me than I am, and that comparing myself to others can bring me one of two things: sadness from a feeling of inadequacy or false happiness and contentment. Comparison is the greatest way to feel horrible about yourself; not everybody was given the same abilities, we were not made to be exactly the same. We were made to be different and we were made to do amazing things, but if we're so focused on the fact that we can't do one thing, we may never realize all of the things we CAN do.

Think about it. What if we were surrounded by people who looked like us, dressed liked us, and thought like us? How much could we get accomplished? There is no doubt in mind that something would be accomplished, but I would never want to live in that world. How could we innovate, how would we have forward progress, if we all agree with each other and we are all the same? We were made different so that our world can be better and that we can do great things. Being different shouldn't be a reason for sadness, it should be a call to do something with what makes you so unique. Being different is something you should realize, embrace, and then make something out of it.

One thing that drives me absolutely crazy is when people set a goal to better than someone else or some other team, because being better than someone else doesn't mean anything for YOU and what YOU did. Your goals should be about you and how you can be better than you were, not how you can be better than someone else. Being able to be better than someone else does not mean you did an amazing job, it means that you did better than what someone else did. Base your goals on yourself and being better than who you were; setting intrinsic goals is so much more fulfilling and it helps grow you into a better version of yourself.

This isn't to say that that you should disregard others, that is not my point at all. You should always be learning from those around you, you should always be collaborating and getting ideas from other people. The people around you can help you immensely and they are there to help you grow, never doubt that. The people around you are different, and together you can do amazing things and you can all grow and learn. Your community is there to help you grow and develop, everyone should take advantage of that. Each person has a different purpose, so to try to be someone other than yourself is a waste of your potential and your talents.

At the end of day, all you can do is try your best to be your best possible self. We live in a society that wants to quantify our successes, we live in a society that tries to define us by the amount of games we won or our cumulative GPA, and we need to remember that we are MUCH more than just a set of numbers. If you can say you tried your hardest to be the best that YOU can be, I think you've succeeded for that day. I can tell you from experience you can still get that 4.0 and still feel completely unfulfilled with the work that you did.

So go, be happy, stop comparing yourself to those around you and figure out what you want for yourself and how you can strive to become better than who you were. Challenge yourself and see how much you can grow. Find the people who are passionate and create something bigger than yourselves. Your time is now.

It's far better to have tried

One fear that we all share is the fear of rejection. We don't think about it, but in reality, that is why we don't do a lot of things. We don't think we are worthy or good enough, so we don't even try.

The thing with our fear of rejection is this: WE limit ourselves to what we could have or could be. WE stand in our own way of happiness and success. How? We don't try. We make the decision that we aren't good enough for whatever we want and we don't even try. By rejecting ourselves, we take away the possibility that someone else will reject us.

It seems crazy, but we do it. We would rather say we can't than find out if we can. We would rather spend our time thinking of the what if's rather than getting a concrete answer that we may or may not like. We want to do things that are favorable for us to get the outcome we want. It's nice to win, I'm not saying I like to lose because I really hate it, but when you lose, you at least know what would have happened.

It is far better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. While it may hurt for a little bit, you know what came of it and what you need to improve if you still want it. It's scary to go into something where you feel that you can be rejected, I know it is, but what's the worst that can happen? You don't get the job, guy, girl, or position. But the best thing, you get something that you truly wanted and you can say that you were worthy and you deserved it. You know that you got it because you were qualified, and that feeling is worth whatever heartbreak or disappointment you could get. For me, knowing that I was unable to do something is much better than always wondering what could have been.

So hand over the reigns and go chase your dreams. You could be pleasantly surprised with all that you can do!

Challenge Accepted

We are always going to be challenged by something or someone, what matters is how we react to the challenge. While it may be easy to shirk away from the challenge or dismiss it, it is far more rewarding to take that challenge, get out of your comfort zone, and boldly say: I accept.

While a challenge may seem daunting, I am a huge believer that each challenge is an opportunity for growth. Just think, a lot of people say things will be hard to accomplish or even impossible, but I'm sure tons of people told Michael Jordan that it was impossible for him to be in the NBA when he started, but look where he is. Instead of dismissing his dreams, he accepted the challenge and pushed himself to be better and get what he wanted.

Stop worrying about what might happen if you choose to accept a challenge, because the fact of the matter is, you will never know until you try. By denying yourself that challenge, that opportunity for growth, you guarantee that you won't ever know. You won't know if you'd get that job or that position on the sports team simply because you didn't try, and I don't know about you, but I'd much rather know that I didn't get a position because I didn't earn it instead of wondering if I would have been good enough.

When you face a challenge, the only thing standing in your way is you. Get out of your comfort zone, don't let people tell you what you are capable, get out there and find out! I believe we were made to incredible and amazing things, if we could only get out of our own way. So, get out there and see what you're capable of! You can do it, I believe in you (and if you're willing, I'd LOVE to hear about what you're doing).

The world is out there waiting, what challenge are YOU going to accept today?

Don't be a mean girl

One thing I will never understand is why women choose to tear each other down, rather than build each other up and make forward progress. We aren't women, we are "mean girls", maybe not like the movie, but in reality that's what happens. It's a CHOICE to speak poorly about other individuals, it's a CHOICE to take women down.

When will we realize that knocking someone down doesn't make us look any better. In my opinion, what you say about others reflects more upon YOUR character than it does theirs. We should be confident in ourselves and our abilities that we don't feel the need to make people look worse in some twisted way to show that we are better. It doesn't work.

Why not change the way we think and choose to help one another? We can make the choice to be better and help each other succeed  We can fill in the spaces where we are lacking, we can work together to reach a common objective of success. If I can be successful, why wouldn't I want to help you if I could? Each person brings something different to the table, and if decided to contribute to making ourselves and each better, instead of pointing out differences and alienating others, our world, specifically our female world, would be so much better.

In all honesty, words hurt. When someone speaks negatively about you or someone or something you love, it hurts and it's frustrating. I am sure my words have hurt others and I am truly sorry for things I have said because I felt inadequate at the time. Words are hurtful, so before you speak, please consider if you truly mean what you are going to say. I know we've all felt it, no matter how thick our  skin is, it gets to us, just a little. Be kind to one another, and just think before you speak.

I'm not saying that I've never done this, because I have and I am not blameless in this mean girl epidemic, but I am trying to better. I am actively trying to be better and help those around me rather than knock them down. It's not hard, but it's a choice and it is something that I work towards every day. The world's not perfect and we get frustrated with each other, but setting your mind to something is the first step to change.

So make a choice, are you going to be a mean girl or a woman of character and integrity? The choice seems pretty easy to me.