Numb it down

Sometimes, feelings suck, especially the ones that make us sad and the ones that make us cry. We'll do a lot of reckless things out of desperation so that we don't have to deal with being sad. We'll do anything to numb the pain that we feel inside.

That's fine and dandy, and I'm not one to judge, but in the end what are all of these things going to do for us? They really are quite useless. No amount of alcohol, running, dieting, or drugs is going to change what happened whether it be a heartbreak or a death. We can numb ourselves to the pain, we can try to forget about the pain, and it will go away for a little bit, but it will come back. It will come back after all of your distractions are gone and it will still hurt.

Being numb helps sometimes, because sometimes it's too hard to deal with the feelings you have. But just because you can numb the pain sometimes, does not mean it goes away, it just means that the pain is delayed. As hard as it is, you have to deal with those feelings and try and make sense of what happened. The sooner the better.

Being numb is comfortable sometimes, but one thing I've learned from this whole numbing technique is that when you try to numb yourself from one thing, you seldom have control over it. If you numb yourself to one thing, you numb yourself to everything else and that is no way to live your life. Life is going to hurt, but it's also going to feel absolutely amazing; in my opinion, it's worth the lows to feel those highs.

I know now, I'd much rather feel a vast array of emotions, than to go through life with things just being "fine" and being numb to everything. All of the feelings, even the sucky ones, are worth it.