Lessons from running

You know what's kind of weird? That a lot of the times, we don't try, and when I say that,  I mean we very rarely go all out. 

Let's compare it to running. When I go running, I usually run and then once I start getting tired or a little uncomfortable, and that's what most people do. You walk for a while and then wait for your so-called "second wind", but recently, I've started thinking that that "second wind" is really just another first.

I think that we very rarely go long enough on our first wind to need a second wind. We don't like to push ourselves. We get out of our comfort zone and then we say we're done. This is the hard part, we have to push past being tired and being a little uncomfortable and see what we can REALLY do. Go all out and see what your real limits are, not just the ones you make up. The other day, I kept going after I started feeling a little tired, and you know what? I ended up running 5 miles on my "first wind" and believe me, I would NEVER think that was possible without me dying on the side of the road (okay, maybe a little dramatic, but you get the point).

My point is, you've got one chance now, so why not monopolize on that and go all out? See what you can do and amazed at how far you can go. Push yourself to the limit and not to the ones you make up, but the ones that are real, because the hardest obstacles to overcome are the ones that are made up in the mind, not actual ones. So push yourself, you'd be surprised at what you can accomplish.

More than me

A lot of people ask me why I do what I do. Why do I spend so many more hours at work than I am required to? Why do I still do things with my sorority, when I don't have a position and I'm graduating? Why do I take so many classes? Why do I intern if it's not a requirement?

I can see how it's confusing to some, but to me it's really clear. While it is to help improve myself, it's more than that. It's passion. It's a love for the communities I am in and the things that I do. Actually, it's more than passion, it's vision and hope for the future.

If you just think about what you do, you won't get far. You can accomplish tasks, but you won't feel fulfilled. If you just think about what you get for what you do, you have an incentive to do what you're doing, so you might be marginally happier, but still I don't know if you'd be fulfilled. What I think will really drive you and make happy and feel fulfilled, is realizing WHY you are doing something. Working for a why, for a purpose, for a passion, can drive you further than any money or task ever will.

One of the greatest realizations I have come to in my life is this: while this is my life, the things I do shouldn't be solely for me. Yeah, self-gratification is great, but what's even better is helping build something bigger than myself. This life is not only my own, I am a part of many communities, and the things I do are to help grow my communities stronger and to leave them much better than when I came in.

Each individual, every person, has a chance to make an impact, and the great thing about that is YOU can choose what kind of impact you wish to make. By just realizing that ability of yours to impact those around you, you are ahead of the game. You can see how your actions aren't just yours, they are your community's. You are an agent of change, whether that be for better or worse; you matter and you can and will make a difference.

Your life has purpose, now go chase it and show the world what you can do.


People like me

Today I was working our Election Party for student government (complete with music, cheesy bread, soda, and my awkward noodle dancing). I got to meet a lot of cool people, help people through the process, and educate students on what student government is and what we do for them. It was honestly one of the best things to be able to talk to people and know more about what they want while I taught them a little about what I do.

During this little Election Party we had, there was girl sitting alone, so of course, me being me, I went up and introduced myself to her. We talked about a plethora of things from what ASEWU (Associated Students of Eastern Washington University) is and what they do to her wanting to join a sorority in the upcoming fall. I loved every second of our conversation because I learned about her, her day, and what she wanted to do. But at some point in the conversation she stopped me and said:

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but why are you being so nice to me?"

I was taken aback and I didn't know what to say. We got to talking about the question and she said some things that truly broke my heart. She told me that people don't usually go out of their way to talk to her, that people don't usually seem to care about what her day is like, and that she had a hard time making friends. What broke my heart the most is that she said "you're really pretty and popular and people like you never want to talk to me".

People like me.

It hurt my heart to know that she felt that way and that she felt like she was ignored by "people like me". People like me, who are involved in the university and seemingly popular, should be the ones who reach out the most. We should be getting people to join us and be a part of our community. We should want people to feel the same things that we do because we a part of that community.

You are NEVER too good to treat someone like a human being. Be the person to have start a conversation and be willing to listen. You should never underestimate the power of a conversation or kind words, because it is those words and conversations that will impact someone more than you may ever know.

"People like me" should be instigators of change. We shouldn't do what has always be done, we should push ourselves out of our comfort zone, so that what needs to be done, gets done. We may be afraid of rejection, but those who aren't "like me" are probably a lot more frightened, so reach out and be that person.
Be the change and foster the growth of your community, there are so many amazing people out there just waiting for a spark.

The disconnect isn't so bad

Let's be real, we all LOVE our cellphones.

We wake up in the morning, we check our social media and texts. From the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep, we are connected.

What's sad is how much we depend on that thing. Heaven forbid we are in a meeting or in a class and we CAN'T check it. We have anxiety, we panic. We can't check our phones, WHAT DO WE DO?!?!

Recently, my phone met an untimely death by submersion in toilet water; I didn't have a phone for an entire week. The first two days were rough and I didn't know how to survive, I'd feel weird leaving the house, I was worried important stuff was happening and I wouldn't know about it because I had no phone. But then it got normal and I was fine and I could do whatever I wanted. It was nice not having a phone and having to be a slave to that thing. 

So what's the point of all this? I have a challenge for all y'all. 

The challenge? Tomorrow when you're walking to places, don't walk around with your phone in your hand. Really, in those 10 minutes you take to walk to class, I don't think you'll miss that much. Take the time to see how beautiful (or not) the place you live in is, actually SEE people you know and say hi to them, take time to think about life. Just don't look at your phone and see how it goes.

Don't sell yourself short


This video is somewhat long, but if you take the time to watch it, I promise it will make you think differently about yourself. If you don't want to watch this one, HERE is a link to a shortened and more condensed version.

The differences in the self-described image and the image that others described is huge, and it just goes to show how much we beat ourselves up about how we look. How much society has made us think that there is something wrong with us, but the reality is, we are all beautiful in our own ways. People see our personalities shine through and they see the beauty within and they see more beauty than we see in ourselves.

This video honestly makes me want to cry, and one of the women said "we spend a lot of time analyzing and trying to fix the things that aren't quite right and we should spend more time appreciating the things we do like". She couldn't have been more right. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with us, realize we all have so much going on for ourselves. We are naturally beautiful and even though society may tell us otherwise, it is true.

The way we see ourselves is skewed and it impacts everything we do. The way we see ourselves is critical to who we are. We need to stop picking ourselves apart and realize that we are beautiful and we are our own worst critics.

We've got a lot to work on, but it has nothing to do with our appearance and it has to do with our confidence. Realizing that you are lovely and beautiful just the way you are is a step in the right direction. We don't need to fix our appearance, we need to fix our self-perception of ourselves. We need to stop letting society tell us we aren't good enough, because the truth is, we are more than good enough.

You are more beautiful than you think, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.

You have to be flexible

From my previous posts, we all know that I am a planner (however, it's a tad less extreme than it used to be. Baby steps you know?). I like to know what's happening, which every time I say that, it sounds a little bit sillier. Plans are good, but I'm learning to let go of having everything be so concrete, and I like it.

I used to think that plans were necessary, and while sometimes they are, a lot of the times they aren't. Plans are helpful guidelines, not the end all be all. Plans don't always help you get where you're going, sometimes they are a hindrance.

Let's think about it this way. I am planning going somewhere. I will leave at a certain time, I will get onto the freeway, I will arrive at a certain time. Sounds like a good sensible plan, right? But then as your driving, you hear that there was an accident on your route that caused a traffic jam, do you continue with your plan? No. Unless you are a complete fool, then maybe you might. You find another way to get where you are going that won't put you into gridlock. You change your plans and don't think twice about it.

Plans are good, but you have to be flexible and know when it's time to let go. Don't hold on to your plans so much that it stops you from doing something big or meeting someone amazing. While you may have one plan, just remember there are millions of other opportunities out there as well.

Finding our "other half" is pure nonsense and quite honestly, BS

I think the biggest mistake that our parents made when raising us, the biggest mistake that society has made, is letting us think that we are just one half of a whole and that somewhere out there, there is a person who will complete us. This whole logic makes us seem like we aren't real until we magically find that other half of us that is missing, this logic is what makes us all crazy looking for "the one".

Don't get me wrong, I believe in love and all that jazz, but I don't know about this other half nonsense. I think we are all born as whole, unique, and individual people, not half a person looking for another half a person. My main point here, is that we were all born whole and we are all able to exist on our own. However, just because we can exist on our own doesn't mean that we all have to be alone.

The way I see it, we're like complementary products. On our own we're good, but with other people we can be amazing and even more awesome than we ever were. Like graham crackers, those things are delicious; great complements to the graham cracker are marshmallows and chocolate. Sometimes frosting is good too. But alone, graham crackers are still delicious. With other things they just become even more awesome.

So I guess I'm saying we're like graham crackers. We're awesome on our own, but there are people that will come around (marshmallows, chocolate, frosting, etc) that will make us much more awesome. We don't NEED those things all the time, but they are still good when they are together. We are graham crackers and the marshmallows, chocolate, frosting, etc. those are our soul mates.

I believe we all have soul mates, but I don't think they complete us, I think they make us better. Also, I'm not so sold on the fact that we just have one soul mate; I think we have multiple. There are people that will come into our lives and they will help show us something amazing and help us be more amazing than we already were, and most importantly, they will stay. Not all the time, not forever, but when they are around, the awesomeness prevails.

I think society has it all wrong and we all get sucked into looking for "the one" that we forget to realize how great the people around us are. I think a lot of our best friends are our soul mates, making us better and more awesome than before. And all of this may seem a little weird to you, but I believe in soul mates and I believe in love, and maybe one of your soul mates is romantic and intimate and what not, that's cool, but you need to realize that you don't need them to make you complete.

So please, remember to live your life and not worry about finding "the one." You have awesome people surrounding you, those people could be your soul mates. We've all been trained to think that we can have only one soul mate, and it will be some romantic crazy Nicholas Sparks movie, and our life will be complete and better. I don't believe that. I believe in soul mates, multiple ones, that enrich our lives and make us both better.

Soul mates are the people you connect with, the people you love, and the people that stick around even after the shit hits the fan. You may get mad at each other, things might get awkward for a while, but you come back together and you remember how great y'all are together. Your soul mates are forever, they are timeless.

If only you try

The other day I was walking around campus, and came across a quote, written on a board. It said:

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will"

More often than not, we let ourselves stand in the way of dreams. We tell ourselves that we can't do it or that we're not good enough, so why even try? and we leave it at that. We choose to defeat ourselves before any obstacle can. So we just find a reason why we can't do something and settle with that.

We limit ourselves by saying that we can't do something. We confine ourselves with doubt. Doubt is what stops us from even trying to do something. Doubt is in our minds and we let it rule how we act.

Be courageous and do things that your mind says you can't. Because if you can't, then you can't, but you will never know if you never even try. Failure is an option, yes, but you won't achieve anything by sitting around and being limited by what you think you can do. If we all did what we thought we could do, how would we ever progress.

Doubt is a crazy thing, but so is courage. Know what to fear; because a lot of the obstacles we face are ones that we made up and already decided how things would turn out.

Real obstacles can be overcome easily, it's the ones that we make up in our minds that are the hardest to beat. Don't doubt yourself, because you can do amazing things, if only you try.

Don't be afraid, be a child

We all need help sometimes, but the things is, a lot of the time, we have trouble asking for it. We've all heard someone say "There's no such thing as a stupid question" but that doesn't really make us any more willing to ask questions.

Why are we so afraid of judgement? Why are we so afraid of failure? All that that fear does to us is cripple us; it limits us. We will never know the answers to the questions that we don't ever ask. There is so much untapped potential in each of us, because we are all afraid of the same things: rejection or some form of failure.

There was a time when we were unblemished by this fear, when our curiosity was free; this was when we were children. I mean think about it, children can talk forever and ask whatever questions they want to, because they aren't afraid, they just want the answers. We grow up and we become way too concerned with what other people think of us that we are afaraid to speak up; so you know what I think? We should be more childlike. I pride myself on being "grown up but not" because while I am mature, I refuse to be a grown up. I want to be as much like a child as I can, because there is no reason we should take ourselves as seriously as we do sometimes. Live, have fun, play with whoever you want, ask the questions that you need to, and have lots of snacks and naps. Just because we grow older, it doesn't mean that we have to leave those pieces behind.

We let our fear dictate what we do and what we act, but imagine what it would be like if we didn't care. Does it really matter if that guy in your class thinks your idea is stupid? The answer is no, not really. Plus, at least from my standpoint, I have no room to judge. You do you and be proud of who you are, it's much better than suppressing who you are to "fit in". You'd be surprised on how many awesome people are out there, if you were just willing to be yourself.

The world would be a better place if people weren't so afraid to ask for help. So push yourself, be courageous, and help make something great because you weren't afraid to ask a question. Make something great because you made the decision to be exactly who you are with no fear of judgement.

Ask for help. Be curious. Be who you are. Change the world.

Mistakes we knew we were making

Mistakes are made, it's how we progress from there that helps shape who we are.

You make a mistake. It's been made and the reality is, you can't change it, but now, now you have a choice to make. You can hold on to that mistake and think yourself crazy about how things could have or would have been OR you can take that mistake, try to learn from it as much as you can, and move forward.

Holding onto mistakes won't change what happen. Thinking about what went wrong and how it went wrong and how things would be different if you were just able to change it, then fantasizing about what would have been, is literally just hurting yourself. You are choosing to let it get to you. Feel reflect and figure out how to proceed next time, that's good. But agonizing over what could have been will get you nowhere; it's time for you to look towards forward progress.

It's not so much about the mistake you made in the past, it's about the new beginning you were given. While you may not have gotten your desired outcome the first time, you have today to start again. You have a new day and new opportunities, opportunities that shouldn't be wasted because you are too busy regretting a mistake you made in the past.

Life is short, your time is now. Be brave, be daring, be bold - don't let your past mistakes hold you back from living life. Stop going over your mistakes; as cliche as it sounds you have to stop reading the last chapter in your life and start writing the one you are currently in. Keep on going, life has much more in store for you.

You have to take chances that are meaningful to you, because whatever those mistakes are, they will be worth it. Life is happening right now, and you have a chance to get it right, you just have to stop thinking about the past mistakes and take your chance now. Every moment is a new opportunity for you to make things happen, realize that and take a chance. Your time is now.


Playing it safe

We all strive for success, conversely we usually hate failure. This isn't news, this isn't rocket science.

While we all want to succeed, we can't let our fear of failure stop us from doing something great. We were all meant for more than mediocrity, we were born to me more than normal, more than average. But the thing is, we will never know until we take those chances, until we take that leap with knowledge that we can fail.

Yeah, you can play it safe, but is it really fulfilling to continue achieving things that you already know you are capable of? Playing it safe can get you to the middle, and I don't think that's a very nice to place to be. Playing it safe breeds mediocrity, and I know that I am made for more than that and that you are made for more than being mediocre.

Playing it safe will get you to be somewhere safe, and while being safe is comfortable, is really something you want to be? Push your limits, put yourself out there and see how big the world really is. Because while the middle is safe and being out on the edge is scary, it's one hell of a view. The only way you are going to see what's out there

Yes, there will be failure, but you'll be able to see exactly what it is you are capable of. You'll be able to see how great you can be, rather than how mediocre your life is.

Playing it safe makes you comfortable, but pushing your limits makes you great.

This is for the freaks

Like I said in an early blog post, Everyone wants to feel wanted. It's just a natural and basic desire that we all have. We all want to be a part of a community, we all want to be a part of a group.

The trouble comes when we want this community or group so badly that we are willing to change who we are to be a part of something that we aren't. While being a part of the group is alluring and acceptance is often yearned for, if we aren't a part of the right group or community, it isn't very beneficial.

We join a group in which we don't fit and we expend so much time and energy trying to fit in and be something that we're not. Why not take that time and energy finding the place where we do fit in, a community where we DON'T have to try to be something that we're not. While the search may be a little bit more tiring, I guarantee you that once you find them, it will be a lot easier.

We've been taught to try and follow the norm and to be normal, but have you every noticed how much it weird you out when people are "normal" or "perfect"? Maybe it's just me, but when people are too normal, I wonder what they are hiding or I think they are just plain old boring. I don't see what's so great about normal, why would I want and actively strive to be like everyone else? I believe we were all born to stand out. What's more, if we spend LESS time trying to be like everyone else, we have more time to be ourselves and to do something that actually matters; we have more time to cultivate our "weirdness" and put it to use and create something great.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, live it the way you see fit. Who cares if people think you're weird or a freak, at the end of the day it's what you wanted. Acting the way that gets you most widely accepted may get you accepted, but it's only acting. When you find a group of people who love you when you don't have to act, THAT is happiness. You don't want to have to find a way to fit in the norm, you want to find a norm that fits with who you are.

So stop trying to be what you aren't and figure out why your weirdness makes you more kick-ass than the "normal" person. To all my freaks and weirdos out there, I love y'all, let's find our people and make things happen in our world!