Don't follow the sheep

I believe in intentionality and purpose in the things that I do. I believe that our actions can change the world that we live in, and that they should change them for the better. With that being said, one thing I CANNOT stand is when people justify what they are doing with the fact that it's what everyone is doing.

There are many things wrong with this logic. I mean seriously, listen to yourself, well everyone else does it, so why don't I do it to? Like I've said in past blogs, we want to fit in, so why not just continue to go with the crowd? Other people doing it should not be the reason that you do it, following the crowd is NOT justification for your actions.

We should be intentional and figure out WHY we are doing things and we shouldn't let following the crowd be a valid reason for action. Blindly following the crowd will get you nowhere; you shouldn't let a group of others dictate how you are going to live your life.

So many times in Greek life or student government life, I hear people want to change because they hear thats what other people are doing or they know that's what other people are doing. They want to change so they can be like other people. But the real question is WHY? Will it make your organization better? Will it eliminate unnecessary steps in your processes? Or are you just doing it because other people do it?

Actions without purpose are pointless. Don't blindly follow the crowd, question it, be curious, and when needed, forge your own path towards greatness.

Be curious, it will take you a long way.

Invest in yourself

As corny and cliche as it sounds, the most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. 

Yeah, other people are awesome, other people are cool, but don't ever forget that YOU are awesome and amazing and cool and whatever other good words you can come up with. So before you go investing your life in other people, I'd advise you to invest in yourself.

Invest in yourself, because that is a lifelong relationship you will ALWAYS have. It's a unique relationship that no one else can match, because you can get in a fight with anyone and walk away, but you can't walk out on yourself. You have to learn to be okay with who you are; understand who you are and embrace. Spend time with yourself to figure out what YOU actually want and what you feel you deserve. So even though it's scary to be alone sometimes, it's something you have to do. You have to figure yourself out before you can even start to think about other people.

Invest in yourself first, everything else is secondary. That may seem selfish, but the way I see it, only once you know and love yourself can you begin to truly invest in other people. To try to invest in others without first investing in yourself is not only a huge disservice to you, but also to those you are trying to invest in. Know yourself, love yourself, because it's only then that you can begin those relationships with others.

All cynicism aside, people will change, you will change, and so will your relationships with others - at the end of the day, all you have is yourself and you've got to learn to be okay with that.

So, what's Greek Week?

If you've been on any campus with a Greek community on it, I am sure you have heard of the holy grail of the Greeks, more commonly referred to as GREEK WEEK.

Now, here's the sad part. You ask any Greek member what Greek Week is and you will get some lame answer like:

"We have an event/competition every day like sports and lip sync and they're worth points. At the end of the week someone wins"

UH, WHAT?! Like really, when you say it like that I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. But wait, I actually understand nothing, because that is a piss poor answer for what Greek Week is. It makes it seem like Greek Week is just one battle royale between fraternities and sororities, a small Greek Olympics if you may. If that's all you can give people, no one is getting an accurate picture of what Greek Week is.
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Let's break it down here. Greek Week. Seems like it should be a WEEK of being GREEK. Crazy right? But wait, if you're Greek, you should always be Greek right? Right! Greek Week is a week to showcase being Greek and live our values.

Greek Week should be Greek life amplified. To only showcase sports is belittling the Greek Community. Do Greeks only play sports all year? NO. We are students and scholars, we do service projects and community service, we create community in our own organizations and in the greater Greek Community. So isn't that what Greek Week should be about? Shouldn't Greek Week reflect our values and who we ARE.

Greek Week should be a celebration of our accomplishments, showcase of our values, and a chance to get outside of our own organizations and build a stronger community. If Greek Week is only competition based, how can we hope to foster the growth of a community when competition makes us want to annihilate each other in these sporting events.As entertaining as it to watch chapters battle it out, it makes us seem like savages to the outside world. Crazy women who are tackling each other in flag football and men throwing out their arms trying to peg each other with dodgeballs. Savages. Seriously, why do we choose to portray ourselves like that?

We are more than competition, we are more than sports, we are more than dancing, we are more than matching shirts. We are more than what we typically show during this week.

It's time to step up and make Greek Week something that we can all be proud of, something that shows the larger community that we are more than just the stereotypes they see in the media. Get to know other chapters and their members and help build our community up instead of tear it down. Greek Week is more than just sports, so take advantage of every moment to help the community shine.

The constant journey

Life isn't about reaching some end destination, it's more about how you get to where you're going. The journey is far more important to where you're going.

It's all about the journeys that get you from place to place, the people you meet, and the person you are constantly becoming. I am a huge believer that you are not finished yet, and you won't ever really be. You are always growing and evolving, and it's this journey that makes you a greater (hopefully) person.

Sometimes we will get discouraged because we aren't getting to where we are going quite the way that we wanted to, but when times get tough, don't get discouraged by how much further you have to go, rather, you should try to remember how far you have already come. When you look back, you will be amazed at your progress; it's not an all at once thing, it's gradual that you become a better greater person. You may not be where you want quite yet, but you sure aren't where you started either. Progress is something to be proud of.

We will always have goals, we will always have places we want to be (whether physical or not), but once they are reached, we still keep going. There is no end and we won't be finished, because life is a continual journey until the day we die.

You're not finished yet, so don't you dare give up.

I'll want you back

One of my greatest traits or maybe worst flaws is this: I will always want you in my life, regardless of the pain and hurt you have caused me.

My friends are frustrated by this, because I will continue to let people who hurt me back into my life. I just believe that if you were a part of my life at one point, I can't imagine letting you go and pretending like nothing ever happened. Excommunicating you from my life is easy, pretending like we were never friends is easy, but I don't want easy. I'll do what's hard because our relationship is important to me. Whether it be a friend who talked about me behind my back or that douche lord guy who made me cry all of the time, I will always let you back into my life, because at some point, once upon a time, we were good together.

I choose to hold on to the good times that we had, rather than focus on the ways that I was hurt, call it naive, but it's the only way I know how. I'm not saying it doesn't suck, because it does. Sometimes I get really angry (which is honestly a very scary thing if you have ever had to experience that wrath) or I get sad, but then I get through it. In almost every situation, after I've thought about it and had my emotional outburst, I will decide that our relationship is much more important than whatever made me sad or angry. Like I said before Forgiveness isn't foolish.

Some think it's a fatal flaw, but I think it makes me a stronger and possibly much weirder person and I am 100% okay with that. I will always open myself to get hurt again because I value relationships and relationships aren't just about the good, but about getting back up from the bad as well. Some people tell me I'm being used or taken advantage of, but regardless, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm not delusional enough to think that things will be the same, because they won't be. I don't want the same relationship back, but I still want us to have a relationship of some sort. I understand that people drift apart, but I can't let the reason be because of one stupid fight or because I was hurt.

I'd rather open myself up to be hurt over and over again than shut you out because I'm afraid. Some say I'll never learn, but I DO learn with each hurt, heartbreak, and disappointment. I learn more about myself and more about others, but I don't think I'll ever learn to stop forgiving. I don't think I'll ever learn to stop fighting for the people that are important to me. Regardless if you call it dumb or admirable, it's how I choose to live.

Moral of the story, I choose to forgive because I want you in my life.

In the end, it all boils down to one question: What's more important, your ego/pride or your relationship? For me, the answer will always be a relationship.

Not half bad

You are smart. You are competent. You are beyond capable. You are MORE than enough.

We often forget these tings; it's easy for all of your greatness to get lost. That sounds weird, but let's be honest, you are great, regardless of what other people tell you. We forget our beauty, intelligence, and good characteristics. We instead focus on our negative aspects and let those get us down. We're too busy beating ourselves up to realize that we're not half bad, that in all actuality, we're pretty damn amazing.

I just wanted to remind y'all that you are smart and you are more than enough. You know what else? You are FAR too smart to allow yourself to stand in the way of your own dreams. Stop beating yourself up and chase your dreams.

Do I make my head look big?

No one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be called out for their flaws. We crave acceptance, we want to belong, and we want to be liked.

We cope with being "flawed" (I'll talk about that at a later date, because in my mind, we aren't flawed, society just makes us think we are, but I digress) with defense mechanisms. We do things so that people can't hurt us, we try to cope so that we don't have to deal with the pain of rejection or embarrassment.

One of the ways that we do this, is we call ourselves out first. In example, I've been told I have a giant head, and I believed it. So I would always point out my giant head before anyone else could. I would rather spout off the things that are wrong with me, rather than someone else call me out for my abnormally large head. A more common example is when perhaps a girl doesn't wear makeup or maybe her hair isn't done; one of the first things she will do is apologize and point out the fact that she has no makeup on or that her hair is mess. Maybe she does it sarcastically or jokingly or seriously, but the point is she does it. We all do it. We all point out our flaws first so that someone can't. It makes sense... kind of.

I do it and I know I do it because I don't want to be called out for something, because it sucks. But think about it in a different light; what if people don't actually notice that you aren't wearing makeup or your hair isn't done quite right or that you have an abnormally large head. You pointing out your perceived flaws makes people think about them, even if people weren't thinking about them originally. Because you said it first, they are now thinking about it and that is their first impression about who you are. So maybe, this whole point out your flaws first defense mechanism isn't the best.

We do this not only on a personal level but on a community level, whether we are talking about our Greek life, school, sports team, etc. we want to point out the flaws and stereotypes first so that someone else can't do it. A lot of the times, it's not what people think first, but we put it in their minds for them.

So maybe, just maybe, we should stop worrying so much about our supposed "flaws" and just live. Live to the fullest and try not to care because most of the time, people won't notice your big head or messy hair, and if they do, it probably doesn't matter that much to them. If we make a big deal out of things, they become a big deal.

Just let go, be yourself, and if people judge, then they judge and you'll be just fine. You aren't flawed and you shouldn't present yourself that way.

I dare you

Like I said in yesterday's blog post, we don't usually push ourselves to the limit. When asked to do something, it's very rare that we do it to the absolute best of our ability. We don't go all out.

Why? I think we don't go all out because we are terrified that our best won't be good enough, and I can see how that is scary. No one wants to feel failure, no one wants to think they aren't "good enough". It's sucks, I'll admit it, but there are different ways to look at it. 

Yeah, if we go all out, we may come up short, and that kind of sucks. But look at it this way, now you know what you need to work on to achieve your goal. You'll realize how important (or not) it is to you and find a way to proceed. Failure is not who you are, it's just a part of the journey, so don't let it define you.. Find the good, learn from it, and go from there. 

Another downside of going all is that it is exhausting. Seriously. To go all out, all of the time, is hard stuff, but I think it's worth it. You have one life, so why not be thoroughly invested in it? Like my blog title says: This is your life, your time is now. Let your passion drive you, there is no better time to put your whole heart into the things you do than right now. 

Be present in the moment, be invested in others, be invested in yourself. You have the ability to make your life absolutely amazing, you have the opportunity to help make others' lives more amazing, so why not do it? Invest in yourself, relationships, and others, I guarantee your life will be so much better.

Go all out, I dare you.