Do I make my head look big?

No one likes to be rejected, no one likes to be called out for their flaws. We crave acceptance, we want to belong, and we want to be liked.

We cope with being "flawed" (I'll talk about that at a later date, because in my mind, we aren't flawed, society just makes us think we are, but I digress) with defense mechanisms. We do things so that people can't hurt us, we try to cope so that we don't have to deal with the pain of rejection or embarrassment.

One of the ways that we do this, is we call ourselves out first. In example, I've been told I have a giant head, and I believed it. So I would always point out my giant head before anyone else could. I would rather spout off the things that are wrong with me, rather than someone else call me out for my abnormally large head. A more common example is when perhaps a girl doesn't wear makeup or maybe her hair isn't done; one of the first things she will do is apologize and point out the fact that she has no makeup on or that her hair is mess. Maybe she does it sarcastically or jokingly or seriously, but the point is she does it. We all do it. We all point out our flaws first so that someone can't. It makes sense... kind of.

I do it and I know I do it because I don't want to be called out for something, because it sucks. But think about it in a different light; what if people don't actually notice that you aren't wearing makeup or your hair isn't done quite right or that you have an abnormally large head. You pointing out your perceived flaws makes people think about them, even if people weren't thinking about them originally. Because you said it first, they are now thinking about it and that is their first impression about who you are. So maybe, this whole point out your flaws first defense mechanism isn't the best.

We do this not only on a personal level but on a community level, whether we are talking about our Greek life, school, sports team, etc. we want to point out the flaws and stereotypes first so that someone else can't do it. A lot of the times, it's not what people think first, but we put it in their minds for them.

So maybe, just maybe, we should stop worrying so much about our supposed "flaws" and just live. Live to the fullest and try not to care because most of the time, people won't notice your big head or messy hair, and if they do, it probably doesn't matter that much to them. If we make a big deal out of things, they become a big deal.

Just let go, be yourself, and if people judge, then they judge and you'll be just fine. You aren't flawed and you shouldn't present yourself that way.