Blogger's Block

Recently, I've been beating myself up about not blogging and not writing. Because I should be doing it, it makes me happy, why can't I think of what to post. And it's not that I don't have ideas. It's not that I don't have things to say. And really, it's not like I haven't been blogging.

I've been blogging, but not online. What I mean by this is I have ideas, I write them down in my beloved moleskine notebook, and then later on I share them with my friends. We talk about what I wrote down, what I was feeling at that time and what their opinion is.

I write for that connection, for the discussion. Not necessarily for the likes or the views. Because I don't care about those things, what I care about is my ideas and the discussion that comes from what I think and feel and believe.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still be blogging and working on making my blog super awesome to look at (aka getting back into my inner coding nerd).

Basically I'm Slim Shady, but not really... at all

I had a breakthrough, about this whole NOT writing thing that' I've been doing recently. Clarification: I had a breakthrough on Saturday morning, at 6:30 in the morning, after which I danced around the room singing "guess who's back... back again... Lauren's back... tell a friend... guess who's back guess who's back guess who's back"

But then I stopped and laughed because it was ridiculous. Both the dancing, but also the fact that afterwards I just kept thinking TWO TRAILER PARK GIRLS GO ROUND THE OUTSIDE ROUND THE OUTSIDE ROUND THE OUTSIDE.

Totally not descriptive of my breakthrough. At all.

More to come and I'm super excited to be feelin' this whole blogging and writing things after feeling so meh these past couple of months.

Check back later this week, it'll be some good stuff.

Blogger's block

What am I doing sitting at my computer screen right now?

It's been a while since I've blogged, but this time it's different. This time, it's not because I don't have the time or that I don't have anything to say or anything to share. It's none of those. It's like a writer's block exclusive to my blog, because right now, if I'm being honest, I don't know what I'm doing here.

I've got tons of things to say, I've got tons of things to write. Moleskine journals filled with words and thoughts and ideas, but for some reason, none of them translate to the blog. None.

It's a weird feeling. Not knowing why I can't write. It's that inbetween I was talking about in a post before this.

I want my blog to be more than it is. I have a need to create, to make it better. More than just words, but a feeling. Which sounds stupid. It looks stupid when I type it. But it's true.

So I'm (re)learning my coding and HTML and photoshop and figuring out how to do it on my own. I'm excited to learn, I'm happy to do this, to create things, which is what I feel like I'm supposed to be doing right now.

This makes no sense. Babbling, but it's okay.

The point is: I'm taking it slow, I'm figuring things out, and it who knows when I'll post again. It might be tomorrow or next week or next month or next year even - the point is I can't force myself to type things I don't feel.

So until then, I love you all.

T h a n k f u l .

As I'm writing this it is Thanksgiving day, but this Thanksgiving day is different. This is the first Thanksgiving in my 23 years of living, that I haven't spent with my family. The first Thanksgiving where me and my sister secretly bought rolls because supposedly no one would eat them (they did, trust me, I mean carbs right?). The first Thanksgiving that I didn't wake up to my mom BLARING R&B hits and cooking up a storm. The first Thanksgiving that I didn't begrudgingly sweep the stairs before everyone came over.

But even though I missed all of this - I think I was exceedingly more grateful for the things that I have been so blessed with. Grateful to be where I am now, learning the things that I am, with the people surrounding me. I miss my family and Washington a whole awful lot, but I know that this is where I am supposed to be right now. And while my biological family is not near, I've created quite the Utah family that I love so much.

So instead of Thanksgiving Thursday, I went up to Heber for Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday with the DeGering/Goates family who have so kindly opened their arms and hearts to me and brought me into the family. Which I'm sure wasn't what they were bargaining for when we met in Washington a little over a year ago. A night full of food and games and stories and love that leave me feeling like the one of the luckiest people in the world.

Today was Friendsgiving... which was really two Provo orphan's eating enough food for a whole family and watching football and of course sleeping. It was great, my heart is happy, and my stomach is more than full. I made a roast, because I can't imagine making a turkey, and it was delicious. Maybe next time I'll take pictures and 'gram it up to make it look as delicious as it tastes.

I'm thankful to have the time to write and not have to work today or tomorrow. (PS, I love my job and the work that I do, but time away is magical). Everything is great.

I am thankful, grateful, and full.

Can we make food crush Friday a thing?

If you didn't know, I love food. Secret's out. Actually, it's not even a secret. I'd scream it from the mountain tops (you know, if I ever made it up a mountain or something).

One of the cool things about Utah is that there is a ton of food, just waiting to be eaten. Specifically, food trucks - everywhere, all the time, moving around and providing joy to all those who partake of the deliciousness.

But today, I want to talk about one in particular. Savour Foods. It's a food truck. It's blue. It's glorious.

They make sliders that are to live for (that's right, sometimes the thought of their good gets me through my extra tough days). Personally, my favorite is the stuffed mushrooms pictured above, because seriously it's like heaven. No exaggeration. I had them once on a Thursday maybe. Then that's all I could think of for the next 24 hours, how can I get more? Where will they be? I WANT IT NOW (a la Veruca Salt). So Friday, I just counted down the hours until I was off work so I could find them. The story unfolds like this: A sheepish little Lauren walks up to food truck, doing some awkward nervous dance that may or may not resemble a toddler's potty dance. They ask how they can help me. I get awkward, as usual, and something close to this phrase comes out "okay, well... I don't know how to say this, but, um. CAN I GET FIVE ORDERS OF STUFFED MUSHROOMS". Riotous laughter ensues because, you know people find my awkwardness hilarious. I get the mushrooms and instant euphoria. Like, I'm eating in my car on the way home because I seriously can't wait. No shame.

It's the best food truck of all the ones I've visited (and trust me, that's a lot). I tell my friends, my roommates, my family, anyone who will listen about the greatness. And all of the ones that have come with me or tasted any of the food, agree. It's too legit and they should NEVER quit. Ever. The food is so good that when you're done you wish you could have more, and it makes you sad that you can't fit anymore in your stomach. No exaggeration. If they have them, I endorse the stuffed mushrooms (duh), chicken pesto slider, and pork wontons with peach chutney, but seriously, I'm sure that anything they make is good.

Not only is their food delicious - but Matt and Collin are awesome. I mean, I love them in the least creepy way possible. I mean, after that embarrassing 5 orders of stuffed mushrooms, how could I not? They're awesome. Their food is awesome. Their passion for food shines through in all that they make - like seriously guys, it's made with love, which makes it heavenly.

So if you live in Utah County, it's definitely worth the trip to go find them and order up some sliders, stuffed mushrooms, or whatever other specials they're cooking up! You can like them on Facebook or follow them on Instagram (@savourfoodtruck) to figure out where they'll be serving up little sliders of Heaven next!

(PS I'll be uploading more pictures of their food to this post later next week - it's just hard to have the self-control to refrain from stuffing my face long enough to take pictures)

They didn't tell us about this...

First, thank you all so much for the texts and emails and messages asking about why I'm not blogging and when I'm going to start again - I NEED that accountability! It's been hard, and the writer's block I've been feelings is because right now, I just don't know. As for the non-existent blog, here's part of the why:

The life of a twenty-something graduate. Completely uncharted territory.

We have a plan laid out for us as children, go to school. Keep going to school. Keep going. College! Yay! Because college will get you a job.

Then eventually, we are supposed to get married and start our own families.

But here I am, a twenty-something college grad, with a great job. But the biggest question is NOW WHAT? What am I supposed to do with this time in between? There's no instructions, no guide to what I'm supposed to be doing. What happens between point A and point B? This is life's great mystery for me at the moment.

And while I may not know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, the point is for me to do something. To learn. Live. Grow. Figure it out, a step at a time. AND IT'S HARD. Because if you know me, I like to plan (not as much as before, I'm letting go, I promise!). Not knowing is scary and it's hard, but with this whole stepping into the unknown thing, it's kind of great. Because I may not know what's in store for the future, but I am getting to know myself a lot more.

So hey, at this point, there's no guide for what I should do, which means I've got to go out and explore! I'll keep y'all updated with my life as best as I can while navigating these waters.

I'm baaaaaack

It's been a super casual 3 and a half months since I've written on the blog and I thought I'd just touch on some changes since the last time I was here.

{UPDATES}
1. That job I love? Yeah, I quit.
2. I got a new job.
3. Did I mention, that job is in Utah? Well yeah, it is, I moved. I live in Utah now.
4. I became a regional coordinator for my sorority.

That's about it. Yep. Major life changes in the last three months and I have so much to share with y'all. I'm trying to make my comeback to the blogging world - so please, bare with me as I find ways to make time for one of my favorite outlets, writing.

So excited to be back!