Beauty is not a number on the scale

Honestly, it breaks my heart to see so many women on diets so that they can be thin and skinny; women put themselves through hell so that they can look "good" according to society.

I understand trying to change your diet in order to be healthy and fit, but when the sole purpose is to just lose weight so that you fit into what society says, I feel truly sad. Every person is beautiful in their own way and if we were all thin, what would make us any different from others? Why would we ever all want to be exactly the same? I don't think it is right to be miserable and deprive yourself of the foods and things you want in order to achieve so goal that society set. Reach your own goals, be your own person, and love yourself. Trust me, being skinny will NOT solve all of your problems.

I've done a lot of research on eating disorders and have learned a lot, and it all is just a sad reality to me. Don't let society make you feel like less of a person because of what you weigh or how you look, because people love you regardless of what the scale says or what you see in the magazines. Don't let your weight consume your life; be healthy and do things for you, not just to appeal to what people tell you is beautiful. Society is mean, people are mean, and everyone feels inadequate at times, but remember that there will never be a more beautiful you and that your life is yours to live and be happy in.

I know I'm not one to talk, since I am quite small, but I just want to remind my friends and their friends and whoever is reading this that they are beautiful, even if society doesn't seem to accept it now. Remember to be kind to others, because we are all battling against society's view of beauty, we are all fighting the same fight. There will be multiple who come along and see your true beauty, because beauty is not a number on a scale, it's who you are within that radiates out. Remember that, the next time you look at the scale and feel like you're not good enough.

Happy and healthy > Skinny

You make a lot of friends, don't you?

"I bet you're one of those people who just goes up to a group of people and makes friends with them". A classmate said this to me the other day, and it made me realize, that I really AM that person, and I see it is as a compliment that he was able to notice this. Yeah, some people may think I'm weird for talking to complete strangers or a bit out there for being so outgoing or even awkward, but it is something that I am proud of.

I am a huge believer that while we want to surround ourselves with others, all you need is one person. One person to believe in you, one person to be your friend, one person to show they care. KNOWING that you have a person that cares can propel you so far forward in life, because all you really need is to know that you are loved and that someone out there knows you will do great things with your life.

It is this belief that makes me feel so willing to embarrass myself in order to meet new people. I try not to care about what the outcome will be, I just want to know more about people. I want to connect with the people around me because, well, why not? We are occupying the same space at the same time, so instead of being "too cool" and just looking at my phone all the time, why not actually INTERACT with my peers. Why not find out what's happening in the lives of others'? I've given up the remote thought that I am "cool" because in all honestly it doesn't matter. I am a person just like any other; regardless of any preconceived notions people may have about me or themselves, everyone deserves someone in their life that wants to know more about them. If I'm that person, cool. But I will never know unless I take the initiative to talk to people.

All of this is to say, I want to get to know the people around me, I want to get to know you. I've never realized how out of the norm some of the things I do may be, but I do them and I am not embarrassed  I want to get to know you and if that necessitates me putting my guard down and abandoning the thought of coolness or popularity, I am MORE than willing to do it.

Be a Hero

I've been fortunate enough to be introduced into something called the Response Ability Project, a project that is aimed at "empowering people to intervene in problem situations and be an everyday hero". This project has spoken volumes to me and really has demonstrated the importance of being kind and having integrity. The project talks about bystander behavior and how to combat just being a bystander, and being the person who will make the difference and intervene

While the word intervene seems like a scary thing to do, it doesn't have to be in some grand way. Being a hero can be in stopping gossiping, speaking up for those who don't, convincing a friend to get help with a possible drinking problem, and so much more. Since being introduced to this project about a year ago, I am still really invested in becoming better and making sure to act on things that I know are not right.

The act of standing up to others is terrifying, but your act can make the difference. You can be a part of the change in your community that NEEDS to happen. While you may be scared to stand up to others, I'm sure the person that is being wronged might be even more scared. There are things that should never be tolerated (hazing, discrimination,  sexual abuse/assault, bullying, etc.) and for you to knowingly let it happen, I feel like you are as guilty as the perpetrators. If you know it's wrong and you can safely intervene, you should, no matter how scary it is. Because all it takes is ONE. One person to say no, one person to show they care, one person who is invested in making the situation right, to move the community towards change. Now think if EVERYONE was willing to do this, how much better would our lives be and how much better could our community be? Think about it.

I can speak from experience, that when some one reaches out to you, it can make the world's difference. Someone who I barely knew messaged me on AOL Instant Messenger (yes, that long ago) and asked if I was okay because they noticed I seemed to be going through a rough time. Even though I didn't talk to her that much about what was going on, it made a huge difference just to know that someone cared about how I was doing. Looking back, I can say that she was a hero for me in that moment, and I feel like things may be different if she hadn't intervened when she did She was there when I needed someone, and I cannot express how much gratitude I STILL have towards her, even 8 years later.

So be the person who stands up, be the person who helps others, regardless if their voice shakes when they speak. Be the person is willing to give up their ego to make their community better and make others feel the same comforts that they feel. No one should have to feel alienated and we can all help to change this. So look around the Response Ability Project website, take the pledge, and remember that kindness and investment go along way. No matter how small the gesture, you can be hero.

Lessons from Driving in the Snow

Yesterday, we got snow. Not the snow that I'm used to, I mean the 10 inches of snow. The type of snow that goes higher than your snow boots. I didn't think it was that bad when I was walking around not to cold, annoyed at the snow in my boots, but overall, it was just fine.

Then I had the choice: drive to my night class or ride the bus. I'm all for public transit, but if I were to take the bus I wouldn't get home until around midnight, and that walk home might be a little scary. Not to mention multiple buses sliding down hills did not inspire the utmost confidence in my ability to survive.

So, I decided to drive the baby Fiat, which took the kind help of some fraternity men to push it out of the 10 inches of snow it was in, but then I was fine, cruising around. Made it to class and everything was dandy. After class I went to Walmart, and on the way back I took the back roads, which is where this post came from (sorry for the long back story!).

I turned onto the road, it was slushy and there was snow, and there was someone behind me who was following. This freaked me out because I didn't want to be THAT car that went 15 miles per hour when the speed limit was near 50. Luckily, I was the car that went around 25-35 miles per hour with the car behind me going 15. I did what I felt comfortable doing, I did what I felt safe with.

The car behind me eventually had multiple cars close behind them (which I feel like if it's snowing, I'd leave PLENTY of room between cars, just in case). They drove faster, so that they could please those behind them - then they started swerving all over the road. It was scary to say the least, but they gained control eventually and then they resumed there 15 mph pace.

What's the lesson here? Don't let others dictate what you do. It's good to push yourself to do things out of your comfort zone, but if the ONLY reason you are doing things is because you feel pressured to do so, it might not be the best idea. If you don't want to do something because it doesn't feel right, because it doesn't feel safe, then don't do it. Don't let peer pressure get to you.

That's right, peer pressure, I said it. I don't mean that video that was a huge joke in junior high/middle school, that depicts you're friends saying "COME ON, EVERYONE'S DOING IT, DON'T YOU WANT TO BE COOL?". Peer pressure isn't like that, when you get older, peer pressure is more subtle, and it doesn't even have to be from your immediate peers or people you know. Pressure comes from society, your community, the people around you, and your peers. It isn't always explicit, people don't tell you, but you will constantly be challenged by the norm, the pressure comes from what "everybody" is doing.

Peer pressure is real and it is always around you. If I could offer any advice, if you don't feel safe, if you don't feel right about something and the only reason you are thinking about it is because it's what you THINK everyone else is doing, think about why YOU want to do it. That answer to why you, and always you, would do something should be enough. Don't change who you are, to become what everyone else wants you to be.

The One-Trick Pony

One of my biggest beliefs is that in order to live a fulfilling life and feel good about what you are is to be immersed in the communities you belong to. That's right, that was plural - you are always a part of more than one community, and each of these communities helps mold you into who you are and your involvement and recognition of these communities, can help you much more than you could ever imagine.

Let's take me for example. Just at school, the are so many communities that I am a part of. I am a part of the Gamma Phi Beta, Panhellenic, Greek, ASEWU, Cheney, Eastern Washington University, Intramural and many other communities. This may seem like a lot, but we are all a part of where we are physically.

I am a Gamma Phi Beta, I am a part of an amazing sorority, but it is my belief, that especially with my Greek affiliation, that we are all meant for more than this. You're in a sorority, that's great and fine and dandy, but if that's all you have to say after four years at your institution  I think that is sad. Life is far too short to be a one-trick pony.

Whatever you are involved in, whether it be Greek life or a sports team, you should be more than just one thing, after all, who wants to be known as JUST "the athlete" or "the sorority woman", because you are so much more than that. Talk to people, realize that you are a part of something bigger than yourself, or a singular institution, you are connected to so many others.

I strongly believe that community involvement, no, community engagement is an important part of your life, and it starts one conversation at a time. Get to know the people around you and be active and present in your communities. The first step is to show up. Show up and let your world amaze you, let opportunities present themselves to you and take them. Help those around you and find happiness. Don't limit yourself to one title, because when you decide to be that one-trick pony, you are limiting your life so much.

Life is too short to be a one-trick pony, so put yourself out there, get involved, and talk to people. What's the worst that can happen you if you approach someone to talk to, you get rejected? So what? It doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, a rejection doesn't hurt you, you are in the same space as others, so why not talk to them? Your life is happening, each and every second of the day, so make the most out of it and explore; the world is waiting for you to show up and present!

The Life of an Intern

I am fortunate to have the opportunity to intern for my university's Student Activities, Involvement, and Leadership office, more specifically with an emphasis in Sorority/Fraternity Life and leadership. To say that I am completely in love with the work I do is an understatement. This work constantly inspires and challenges me to be a much better person and to think in so many different ways. Seeing the Greek life I live from a programming standpoint, rather than as a consumer, has been beyond eye-opening and the internship has just begun. I am excited to see where this takes me!

I just got back from a retreat with the four different Greek councils on my campus, where I saw, learned, and was challenged to see new ways of thought. Throughout the roughly 24 hours we were together, I was inspired to write so many posts, and those will come later after I get over my thorough exhaustion from organizing and facilitating a workshop. But overall, this was an opportunity I am glad that I took, because I can already see the amazing work it is doing in my life and the life of others.

Lessons From A Cat

One night, when I was up late (which may be a part of why this made so much sense to me) I had an encounter with my cat, which really made me think. I promise I am NOT a crazy cat lady or anything, but in those wee hours of the morning, I learned a lesson.

Here's the story: My cat sleeps in my room when I'm at home. He sleeps, I feed him, I let him go outside when he meows at me incessantly  and I let him back in when he paws at my window. It's pretty much the same routine. This night however, I was up late, and my cat seemed to want to leave my room, so I let him out and opened up the front door as I normally do, but this time was different. This time, he just sat there and stared at me (kind of creepy, yes). But then it hit me, I never thought about what my cat actually wanted, I just assumed (sounding more and more like that crazy cat lady I said I wasn't, right?). My cat just wanted to prowl around the house, something I'm sure he hasn't done in months.

This bring  me to my lessons from a cat. We think we know what other people want, we think we know what our loved ones want so much that we don't think about what they ACTUALLY want. We get comfortable and complacent and assume that they want what they usually get, which isn't always the case. We assume they will react a certain way, so we don't tell them or we tailor the message so that we can get the reaction we want, but that's no way to live with someone.

People, and cats, will surprise you, and you should let them. Let them react how they may, let them make their own decisions. Don't be afraid to tell them something because you assume you know what will happen. Let them show their growth and their desires, don't assume you know them so well, because we are ever-changing beings. We are never exactly the same, so to assume we know even our closest friends so well, is a little misguided. We can never know what will happen and we should embrace the unknown with open arms as a place to learn and to love.

All of this from a stare down with a cat, kind of funny, huh?