Everyone wants to feel wanted

All we ever want, is to be wanted; everyone loves to feel like they are wanted, everyone wants to feel needed somewhere. Personally, I struggle with this because I, like everyone else, LOVE to feel wanted and needed. I also love to make people happy, which can make for quite the combination.

I'm a people pleaser, I like people to be happy,  I want them to be happy. Really, I want to live me life to help other people, but that's a different story. As long as I can remember, I've been this way. I'd rather have other people be happy, then get what I want a lot of the times. I will bend over backwards so that I can get people what they want, I will do almost anything so that people can be happy. It has mattered what the cost was, if I have the ability to make someone happy, I will do it. Why? Because I want to feel wanted, I want to feel needed.

Too often, I am willing to drop everything so that others will be happy. If I feel like I'm wanted, if I feel like I'm needed, I am more than willing to place my life on hold. It is that urge to make people happy that makes me stay in a place that may not be the best for me. If you asked me stay, I probably would, and at the very least, I'd heavily consider it. I never really thought of it that way, but I just want to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible; I want to be wanted, plain and simple.

As good as it is to feel wanted, I'm finally learning that I have to start doing things for myself. I have to move on from where I feel comfortable and wanted; I have to pursue my own dreams, even if that means leaving some of the things I love behind. I'm learning that just because I am choosing what's best for me, doesn't mean I'm not choosing who and what I love. Feeling wanted is nice and helping others is good, but I have got to do somethings for myself. I can't cling so tightly to that feeling of being wanted, that I lose sight of where I'm going.

Lose the crutch

No one likes to fail, or at least not anyone I know. Sometimes it's embarrassing, and who likes to be embarrassed? But failure happens; failure is necessary to learn and progress. It all depends on how you handle it, but failure isn't always a bad thing.

One thing we love to do when we fail is find something to blame it on. I didn't win because I ate a burger before the game. I didn't get a good grade because my professor doesn't like me.

Excuses, everyone has them, but here's the kicker: excuses are just a crutch, and if you lean on the too long, you're just crippling yourself. You won't grow from making excuses as to why you can't do something. Excuses are just a crutch to hold yourself up on because you don't think you're ready to stand alone.

Excuses absolve you of your responsibility, they shift the blame to something that was out of your control. If you want to grow, you need to own your mistakes; have an internal locus of control, if you may. Realize that while you can blame failure on outside forces, you can also take the responsibility for what is happening to you.

We all fail, but it takes true strength to take responsibility and own our mistakes. It takes strength to look back and be able to find a way to improve from the experience. Failure doesn't have to be all bad, because from each opportunity that you did not succeed in, you gain experience and you can learn a valuable lesson if you just search for it. It's not to say tear yourself apart with what could have been, but rather to see if there is anything you should/ought to do the next time a similar situation arises. Every struggle is an opportunity for growth, failure shouldn't knock you down, it should make you stronger.

The way I see it, it's only a failure if you learned nothing from the experience. So lose the crutch, and figure out how the experience can make you a better.

Gotta get up from here

When things don't go the way I want, I'm disappointed and I get upset, it's a natural reaction.

You can be as sad or angry as you want, for as long or short as you want, but the reality is, you have got to get up from there.

I'm not saying you can't be sad, that would be ridiculous. To try and pretend like you're not sad, to try and pretend your emotions don't exist won't help anything. Go ahead, feel bad, feel sorry for yourself, by all means go sulk! I mean, I've been known to throw a pretty rockin' pity party for myself (complete with blankets, netflix, ice cream, chips and guacamole, and whatever other food I desire), but the fact is I have to get up from here.

Feeling sorry for yourself will do nothing for you and it will get you nowhere. You have to get up and shake it off. Once you're done being sad, you have to realize that you were meant for something more than what made you sad. Learn from what happened, grow from the experience, and then go be happy and be the bad ass you were meant to be. Be resilient, bounce back, and grow from every curveball that life throws at you.

I mean, when in doubt, reflect on the great words of Chumbawamba (yes, I love the 90s )"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down". They also go on to talking about whiskey drinks and vodka drinks, but you can ignore that part and just get straight to the point: when life doesn't go as planned, you can stay down for a little, but ultimately you gotta get back up and give it another try, after all, you were meant to do some pretty amazing things.

Ready or not, here it comes

Sometimes, life is scary. The future is scary, the unknown is terrifying.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a planner. I know what I want, I have a plan to get it, and that is that. I don't like it when things don't go according to plan, but when that happens, don't you worry, because I have a backup plan. Which is really quite ridiculous when I say it aloud, because people plan and God laughs.

I've planned a lot in my life and I can honestly say that the best times I have had have been unscripted, unplanned, and unforeseeable. Planning is good, but the reality is, life is going to happen, whether I plan for it or not. Regardless if you're ready, life is still going to come at you, second after second, day after day. I didn't plan to end up where I am, but alas, here I am.

Lately, a lot of things haven't been going as planned and even though things haven't been going according to my great plan, I am happy. I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished, I am happy with where I am, and I am so thankful for the people around me and everything that I have in my life. It may have not been the plan, but let me tell you, my life is awesome and I wouldn't change a thing. While the plan looks great on paper, my life feels even better - even with all the deviations from my grand plan.

The biggest thing to remember is that life is scary and walking straight into the unknown that is the future is terrifying, but life's going to happen, whether you are ready for it or not. Every second you spend worrying isn't going to change a thing. So live freely, love with a reckless abandon, and give of yourself to serve others and make the world a better place, after all, this life is all you have. I have a huge belief that if things are meant to be, they will be, and if they weren't meant to be, then it was a good time and a good experience.

I've learned that sometimes, you have to let go of your plans and take every joy, triumph, and disappointment as they come. Be who you are and love what you do. Let your life unfold, you could be very pleasantly surprised.

Comparison will kill you

I am not perfect; I am not the greatest person, but I am more than fine with that, I am happy.

One of the greatest things that I could have ever realized is that there will never be someone who is more Me than I am, and that comparing myself to others can bring me one of two things: sadness from a feeling of inadequacy or false happiness and contentment. Comparison is the greatest way to feel horrible about yourself; not everybody was given the same abilities, we were not made to be exactly the same. We were made to be different and we were made to do amazing things, but if we're so focused on the fact that we can't do one thing, we may never realize all of the things we CAN do.

Think about it. What if we were surrounded by people who looked like us, dressed liked us, and thought like us? How much could we get accomplished? There is no doubt in mind that something would be accomplished, but I would never want to live in that world. How could we innovate, how would we have forward progress, if we all agree with each other and we are all the same? We were made different so that our world can be better and that we can do great things. Being different shouldn't be a reason for sadness, it should be a call to do something with what makes you so unique. Being different is something you should realize, embrace, and then make something out of it.

One thing that drives me absolutely crazy is when people set a goal to better than someone else or some other team, because being better than someone else doesn't mean anything for YOU and what YOU did. Your goals should be about you and how you can be better than you were, not how you can be better than someone else. Being able to be better than someone else does not mean you did an amazing job, it means that you did better than what someone else did. Base your goals on yourself and being better than who you were; setting intrinsic goals is so much more fulfilling and it helps grow you into a better version of yourself.

This isn't to say that that you should disregard others, that is not my point at all. You should always be learning from those around you, you should always be collaborating and getting ideas from other people. The people around you can help you immensely and they are there to help you grow, never doubt that. The people around you are different, and together you can do amazing things and you can all grow and learn. Your community is there to help you grow and develop, everyone should take advantage of that. Each person has a different purpose, so to try to be someone other than yourself is a waste of your potential and your talents.

At the end of day, all you can do is try your best to be your best possible self. We live in a society that wants to quantify our successes, we live in a society that tries to define us by the amount of games we won or our cumulative GPA, and we need to remember that we are MUCH more than just a set of numbers. If you can say you tried your hardest to be the best that YOU can be, I think you've succeeded for that day. I can tell you from experience you can still get that 4.0 and still feel completely unfulfilled with the work that you did.

So go, be happy, stop comparing yourself to those around you and figure out what you want for yourself and how you can strive to become better than who you were. Challenge yourself and see how much you can grow. Find the people who are passionate and create something bigger than yourselves. Your time is now.

It's far better to have tried

One fear that we all share is the fear of rejection. We don't think about it, but in reality, that is why we don't do a lot of things. We don't think we are worthy or good enough, so we don't even try.

The thing with our fear of rejection is this: WE limit ourselves to what we could have or could be. WE stand in our own way of happiness and success. How? We don't try. We make the decision that we aren't good enough for whatever we want and we don't even try. By rejecting ourselves, we take away the possibility that someone else will reject us.

It seems crazy, but we do it. We would rather say we can't than find out if we can. We would rather spend our time thinking of the what if's rather than getting a concrete answer that we may or may not like. We want to do things that are favorable for us to get the outcome we want. It's nice to win, I'm not saying I like to lose because I really hate it, but when you lose, you at least know what would have happened.

It is far better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. While it may hurt for a little bit, you know what came of it and what you need to improve if you still want it. It's scary to go into something where you feel that you can be rejected, I know it is, but what's the worst that can happen? You don't get the job, guy, girl, or position. But the best thing, you get something that you truly wanted and you can say that you were worthy and you deserved it. You know that you got it because you were qualified, and that feeling is worth whatever heartbreak or disappointment you could get. For me, knowing that I was unable to do something is much better than always wondering what could have been.

So hand over the reigns and go chase your dreams. You could be pleasantly surprised with all that you can do!

Challenge Accepted

We are always going to be challenged by something or someone, what matters is how we react to the challenge. While it may be easy to shirk away from the challenge or dismiss it, it is far more rewarding to take that challenge, get out of your comfort zone, and boldly say: I accept.

While a challenge may seem daunting, I am a huge believer that each challenge is an opportunity for growth. Just think, a lot of people say things will be hard to accomplish or even impossible, but I'm sure tons of people told Michael Jordan that it was impossible for him to be in the NBA when he started, but look where he is. Instead of dismissing his dreams, he accepted the challenge and pushed himself to be better and get what he wanted.

Stop worrying about what might happen if you choose to accept a challenge, because the fact of the matter is, you will never know until you try. By denying yourself that challenge, that opportunity for growth, you guarantee that you won't ever know. You won't know if you'd get that job or that position on the sports team simply because you didn't try, and I don't know about you, but I'd much rather know that I didn't get a position because I didn't earn it instead of wondering if I would have been good enough.

When you face a challenge, the only thing standing in your way is you. Get out of your comfort zone, don't let people tell you what you are capable, get out there and find out! I believe we were made to incredible and amazing things, if we could only get out of our own way. So, get out there and see what you're capable of! You can do it, I believe in you (and if you're willing, I'd LOVE to hear about what you're doing).

The world is out there waiting, what challenge are YOU going to accept today?