I could come up with a million things to do before writing
here, but I am sitting at my computer now and trying. Like reeaaaaalllllllly
trying to sit here and crank something out, but it’s hard.
Scratch that. It’s not hard. I’m just full of excuses and
fill my time with other things that don’t necessarily matter as much. I put off
writing here over and over and over again because “I just don’t have the time,”
but oh, let me tell you a story about the things I DO have time for.
Last week, I had a full post thought out, ready to go, in my
head, and I thought “Lo, this it! This is the time! You’ve got it!” but then
somehow it didn’t get written… somehow, I got REEAALLLLL busy. With what you
might ask? SUPER IMPORTANT THINGS that include, but are not limited to the
following: taking a shower, driving to
get a soda, taking a picture of said soda, cleaned my camera, eating a
lunchable, scrolling through Instagram, posting jobs and answering emails for
work, thinking about the logistics of moving my bed, doing some laundry, looking
at domain names, sorting my books, and of course, making a list of things I was
doing instead of writing the post that I meant to, the list goes on... (please
also note, this started at like 9:45pm)
And now that thought, like many others, is gone with the
wind, never to see the light of day. Tragic, I know.
So sure, I’m “busy”, but if I’m being honest, I’m actually
just scared.
Scared of what? That someone might actually read this? That they
might not like it? That people might not like me? I’m not quite sure
exactly what it is, but I’ve let that fear stop me from doing what I love for a
long long time.
So here I am, writing nonsense about not writing, because
this matters to me. And I’ve finally (kind of) come to grips with the fact that
people might not like what I write, and that’s okay, because I’m writing for
me. And if that reaches someone, somewhere, and resonates with them, that’s
cool – but if not, that’s okay too.
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